Lazy wife...should I seek a divorce?
I'll try and keep this short.
I have been married just over 7 years. My wife has NEVER been a "house cleaner" even when we were dating. She has clutter everywhere, to the extent that there are trails through the house where you have to walk, crap piled on the sofa so you can't sit down, dishes stacked up for weeks at a time and stink so bad she opens a window and lights a scented candle instead of cleaning the dishes, laundry is done and then "stacked" in the floor or on top of other clutter, and the floors are covered in dirt because she does not vacuum.
Her best friend helped her clean the house up over 2 days, but within a month my wife had it right back cluttered up again. I took the initiative to clean it myself once, and got chewed out over it because I threw out some crap that she wanted to keep, even though it hadn't moved in months and was covered in dust.
Our arrangement for duties when we got married was that I would do ALL the yard work, take out the trash, keep the vehicles cleaned and serviced, be the primary bread winner (I'm a cop, 40-50 hours per week) as well as help raise our son (who is now 3 years old). Her job, while working part time, would be to keep the house clean, do dishes, laundry, and split the cooking duties with me (I like to cook).
It is not fair to me or my young son to have to live like this. I thought I was having general anxiety over this issue about a year ago, and even after marriage counseling where she admitted that she was lazy and unmotivated to clean, she refused to do anything in the house to see if it would help my anxiety (later tests showed a pinched nerve in my neck which triggered anxiety-like symptoms in the brachial plexus).
To me, it seems she just does not respect me or my wishes to have a clean house for my family. This is further established because for our wedding, my mother paid $1,000 for pictures and my wife, who was taking the proof book with her to work every day, NEVER ordered the pictures, even though I asked to see that proof book numerous times and wanted to get them ordered.
She works part time, then sits on the bed or couch the rest of the time watching TV, Netflix, or piddling around in the house doing next to nothing.
I don't want a divorce because of my son (hate statistical broken American families), but at the same time I can't go on like this. Talking does no good. Leading by example does no good.
What do I do?