Re: Anyone in a sexless marriage?
Well, glad I am not alone.
Here's one man's trail of tears for what it is worth.
I am coming up on year 5 without sex.....with my wife.
I entered an affair under the thought that if I had a physical relationship outside my marriage - I could remain married and maintain my full-time parental status. Well that failed terribly. I have developed feeling for my OW and my marriage remains a mess.
What lessons have I learned?
1. Sex is not the problem. It's intimacy. If you look deeper, certainly for me and others I have met, it's a connection with your spouse that is absent. You probably also don't kiss passionately, touch, cuddle, share your fears and ambitions, etc.. You/we are missing out on life's greatest pleasure from my standpoint, to love and be loved in a genuine, care, and giving manner. It is no way to live.
2. Fix it NOW or leave. Sexless marriage don't resolve themselves. They can continue indefinitely if you tolerate it. Usually the refusing spouse is content. Only you are suffering.
3. Love is out there are readily available. Granted my affair is a TERRIBLE choice and riddled with too many other issues to list, but it showed me one thing if nothing else - there are people everywhere that are kind, loving, considerate and sexually active.
There is no reason to live life this way.
I am working on putting my exit strategy into place. I can't do it any more. I am hopeful my relationship with my OW can evolve into a healthy normal relationship over time. It may not. All I know for certain is that I will find it....because it's not that rare. Living in a sexless marriage is rare.....and unnecessary.
And like one of the previous posters. I too have gone so long, I don't even want intimacy with my wife. I am bitter from the years of hurt and time has eroded all the feelings I once had for her. I care for her, wish her nothing but the best in life, but it won't be with me.