So I finally had the conversation with my H about wanting to end things in our relationship. We actually had a good conversation and we were both able to be honest about our past, present, and future.
He was obviously upset, and emotional, but in the end he said, "I just want you to be happy" I thanked him for his understanding and kindness.
We own our home, money is tight, we have 2 young kids, our house is under renovations, and he's currently looking for work.
Now, I let the conversation marinate a little bit with him, and than started bringing up the actually "how will this go" conversations. We have a couple ideas as to how the split will work, so the kids are effected in the least.. the problem is, every time I try to bring up the conversation, he gets emotional. He tries to pretend he's fine, but he cries, and is upset. I'm trying to be kind and supportive; after all, I still care for him as a person, and father of my children (he's a wonderful father); I just can't continue a romantic relationship with him.
He can't afford to live outside the home until he gets a job, and I can't afford to pay for the house AND an apartment (or else I would)
We cant sell the house in the state that it's in. I have an appointment with the bank of Friday to ask for some help with the renovations.
Living together is weird for me, so after the kids are in bed, I've been going for drives, or visiting friends. This upsets him and says, "You can't even be in the same room as me" ... it's not that, I just find myself wanting time to myself, to process all this, and to prepare myself for the road ahead.
He's emotional, and is triggered easily. I know the best thing to do is to move out and let each other move on.. but it's proving to be difficult, financially.
I HATE seeing him so sad.. its heartbreaking that I'm breaking his heart.
A part of me just wants to say I'll stay so that he stops seeming so helpless. But, I know that I can't go on with how things have been. He always says he understands why I'm leaving, but his kindness is making me feel even worse about it all. It would almost be easier if he were angry and rude..
We are both trying to do what's best for the kids; we parent very well together, and want to do this 50/50.
I don't know how to cope with his sadness, and my guilt.. I feel so terrible, but I just want to move on.
Is my trying to be nice, making things worse? Should I just cut the chord?? How do I do that with no extra income?
I hope he finds work soon. sigh.
He was obviously upset, and emotional, but in the end he said, "I just want you to be happy" I thanked him for his understanding and kindness.
We own our home, money is tight, we have 2 young kids, our house is under renovations, and he's currently looking for work.
Now, I let the conversation marinate a little bit with him, and than started bringing up the actually "how will this go" conversations. We have a couple ideas as to how the split will work, so the kids are effected in the least.. the problem is, every time I try to bring up the conversation, he gets emotional. He tries to pretend he's fine, but he cries, and is upset. I'm trying to be kind and supportive; after all, I still care for him as a person, and father of my children (he's a wonderful father); I just can't continue a romantic relationship with him.
He can't afford to live outside the home until he gets a job, and I can't afford to pay for the house AND an apartment (or else I would)
We cant sell the house in the state that it's in. I have an appointment with the bank of Friday to ask for some help with the renovations.
Living together is weird for me, so after the kids are in bed, I've been going for drives, or visiting friends. This upsets him and says, "You can't even be in the same room as me" ... it's not that, I just find myself wanting time to myself, to process all this, and to prepare myself for the road ahead.
He's emotional, and is triggered easily. I know the best thing to do is to move out and let each other move on.. but it's proving to be difficult, financially.
I HATE seeing him so sad.. its heartbreaking that I'm breaking his heart.
A part of me just wants to say I'll stay so that he stops seeming so helpless. But, I know that I can't go on with how things have been. He always says he understands why I'm leaving, but his kindness is making me feel even worse about it all. It would almost be easier if he were angry and rude..
We are both trying to do what's best for the kids; we parent very well together, and want to do this 50/50.
I don't know how to cope with his sadness, and my guilt.. I feel so terrible, but I just want to move on.
Is my trying to be nice, making things worse? Should I just cut the chord?? How do I do that with no extra income?
I hope he finds work soon. sigh.