Instructions:
Step 1
MAKE THE DECISION TOGETHER - Deciding to engage in a trial separation is a huge step and it is vital that both partners have talked about and agree to the separation.
It is also extremely important that both parties NEED to be honest to give the trial separation a chance of being successful.
*If there is trouble communicating in the relationship, consider discussing with a third (such as a pastor or family therapist) whether you both agree to a trial separation.
Step 2
DECIDE UPON THE LENGTH OF SEPARATION - A marriage separation reconciliation program will have a huge impact on your life and on the lives of those around you. It is important that you keep it structured and planned.
It is vital that you decide on a length of time for the separation to take place. This will depend on your unique situation and needs and can vary from several weeks to a couple months.
*Do not stay separated for too long. You can always agree to shorten the trial separation period or lengthen it. But, there should be a set date when the parties will get together and make a decision.
Step 3
TAKE CARE OF HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS - Before you separate, you will need to decide upon household matters such as finances. Make sure to talk to your children about what is going on and that it is not in any way or form their fault.
Step 4
SET GUIDELINES FOR SEPARATION - It is extremely important that there be NO dating during the separation period. Do not agree to a separation if your partner can not agree to a No-Dating clause. A separation is to evaluate your relationship with each other and you can not do this if other people are in the picture.
Decide when you will be dating/seeing/sexually involved with each other during the dating relationship.
Other guidelines may be: Deciding together your sleeping arrangements during this separation, separate rooms or separate homes. Deciding together how often you will want talk about your relationship and work on a specific relationship issue, etc. You may want to begin writing in a journal, or read through a self-help marriage book, study the Bible, .
Step 5
TAKE THE TIME TO REFLECT AND MAKE CHANGES - While it may be hard to make time for yourself, you will need to do so to process the emotions of the separation.
Evaluate your personal emotional health and what you need to do to make it better. Prepare yourself to be a healthier and happier you. Reflect on your actions with your spouse and what you can do better in your relationship. Make sure you are actively pursuing positive change.
Step 6
GET INDIVIDUAL AND COUPLES COUNSELING THROUGHOUT THE SEPARATION - The time of separation period should be a period of healing and growth. Counseling can help dramatically with this.
Sometimes couples counseling can work best during the separation period when there is less stress at home and the individual has had time to consider his/her viewpoint better. Scheduled counseling sessions can be extremely helpful.
*Choose a family therapist who lines up with your family values.
Step 7
MAKE A DECISION - After the agreed upon time is up it is time to make a decision in regards to your relationship. You may decide to continue to work on and rebuild your relationship or continue the separation.
Step 1
MAKE THE DECISION TOGETHER - Deciding to engage in a trial separation is a huge step and it is vital that both partners have talked about and agree to the separation.
It is also extremely important that both parties NEED to be honest to give the trial separation a chance of being successful.
*If there is trouble communicating in the relationship, consider discussing with a third (such as a pastor or family therapist) whether you both agree to a trial separation.
Step 2
DECIDE UPON THE LENGTH OF SEPARATION - A marriage separation reconciliation program will have a huge impact on your life and on the lives of those around you. It is important that you keep it structured and planned.
It is vital that you decide on a length of time for the separation to take place. This will depend on your unique situation and needs and can vary from several weeks to a couple months.
*Do not stay separated for too long. You can always agree to shorten the trial separation period or lengthen it. But, there should be a set date when the parties will get together and make a decision.
Step 3
TAKE CARE OF HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS - Before you separate, you will need to decide upon household matters such as finances. Make sure to talk to your children about what is going on and that it is not in any way or form their fault.
Step 4
SET GUIDELINES FOR SEPARATION - It is extremely important that there be NO dating during the separation period. Do not agree to a separation if your partner can not agree to a No-Dating clause. A separation is to evaluate your relationship with each other and you can not do this if other people are in the picture.
Decide when you will be dating/seeing/sexually involved with each other during the dating relationship.
Other guidelines may be: Deciding together your sleeping arrangements during this separation, separate rooms or separate homes. Deciding together how often you will want talk about your relationship and work on a specific relationship issue, etc. You may want to begin writing in a journal, or read through a self-help marriage book, study the Bible, .
Step 5
TAKE THE TIME TO REFLECT AND MAKE CHANGES - While it may be hard to make time for yourself, you will need to do so to process the emotions of the separation.
Evaluate your personal emotional health and what you need to do to make it better. Prepare yourself to be a healthier and happier you. Reflect on your actions with your spouse and what you can do better in your relationship. Make sure you are actively pursuing positive change.
Step 6
GET INDIVIDUAL AND COUPLES COUNSELING THROUGHOUT THE SEPARATION - The time of separation period should be a period of healing and growth. Counseling can help dramatically with this.
Sometimes couples counseling can work best during the separation period when there is less stress at home and the individual has had time to consider his/her viewpoint better. Scheduled counseling sessions can be extremely helpful.
*Choose a family therapist who lines up with your family values.
Step 7
MAKE A DECISION - After the agreed upon time is up it is time to make a decision in regards to your relationship. You may decide to continue to work on and rebuild your relationship or continue the separation.