Re: Husband hates me, doesn't work, lies, and screams at me. But it's all my fault?
Going through almost the same thing myself and I feel your pain. Together seven years, married for one. Currently separated for three months after the extent of his cheating became clear and his behavior betrayed my family and became out of hand. Of course, WH blames me for the whole thing and won't take responsibility; denial, blame-shifting, gas-lighting, lying, trashing my credibility so that those who know him won't believe he's done this stuff. Now, he doesn't want to talk to me because he's furious about what I've done (which is object to this behavior and get really sad and brokenhearted over it). Thought he was the love of my life and my soulmate; miss him like crazy (the good him, not the person he seems to have become); still think he's in there somewhere, but for some reason, things went from passionate romance to emotionally abusive without my noticing it. Thought I was going crazy until I found out about the online affairs (and they'd crossed over into casual encounters). I understand your pain. No kids here, though. Try individual counseling; it will help you. He won't change unless he wants to and he needs some strong motivation for it. Doesn't sound like your H has any motivation for change right now. He sounds like he is narcissistic or at least selfish, immature, and unwilling or unable to see how this is harming you. This won't go away on it's own. In my own case, I'm hoping things will get better, that he'll be the person he used to be again, but...it often feels foolish of me because if he didn't care before it all came out, why would he now? I'm sorry you're having to go through that. Hang in there.
Last edited by desert-rose; 11-21-2011 at 03:56 AM.