Originally Posted by wrongguy
You have some good ideas.... My other issue is that she wants me to show her all that she needs me to do, but she still wants to be seperated. Its been a month now and I told her for us to be a family and work on this I need to move back home so I can show her. But she just says show me first then maybe you can move back in..... I feel like she is treating me like a cheater or drug addict and I have not doing anything like that.
Go with it. Dont whine. You have to learn what she needs the boundaries to be. I have heard many many spouses put their kids first and it just crushes their spouses.
You cant do that. She has a vested interest in having more control with your life with her. You are letting what she sees an as outside third party junking up your plans by being a yes man to your ex wife.
She resents you for it and is POSTIVE you wont man up and deal with enforcong some boundaries. It hurts her.
Your response? Whine about the arrangement. Not good.
I understand they are your kids and all time with them is precious time. Im not saying to change that. Its a better approach that needs to be built.
You have to ask her what will work while conveying that you get it now how it hurts her she is SECOND.
She has to be first. You gotta wrap your head around that and figureout how to put here there.
If you can pull it off, she will soften way up with the kids but first she has to feel in more control and and the front of the line.
you can do it