My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 08:54 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

My husband dated 6 years and we just got married 2 months ago. This is an international marriage and we had long distance relationship for about 1 year and half but I used to live in the U.S. before. During that time he visited me once last winter. After considering lots of things I quit my job and left my family and friends to be with him in the U.S. Since I came back he thinks I've changed a lot and he didn't even want to marry me anymore but I convinced him that I will change and make an effort and he accepted and we got married in July. Part of the issue was that he is very sexually active but I'm not. He was not like that before long distance and I'm assuming that it is because of the long distance we had and also he quit the job for concentrating in study for his grad school basically all he does is studying at home. And this comes the first issue, he also told me that I refuse to have sex with him but I masturbate in sleep and when he tries to join me I get mad or stops what I'm doing. I was shocked cuz I have no idea what he was talking about and I thought he went crazy but he just kept asked me to be honest with him. I just thought its so weird so I went online and searched about it and realized that what he was telling me seems like symptom of the sleeping disorder called "Sleep sex, or sexsomnia". The symptom matches exactly what he was explaining how I act at night. So I told him looks like I have sleeping disorder and he accepted me for who I am and he proposed me officially and we decided to get married. After that we didn't have any issue for awhile, we got married, started applying paper work for me so I can stay in the U.S.
And 10 days ago he started acting weird again I can tell that he is mad. He even spend a night at his friend's house didn't come back for one night and in the morning when he came back he asked my consent for divorcing him. I was again shocked I thought everything was going fine but he was just so ready to submit paper work. He was again saying that I'm not giving him enough attention and I don't care and love him enough that I don't deserve him. I told him again that I will change so lets work this marriage out but he told me he’s been feeling so miserable and if I really love me please let me go.(this is like the second time he wanted to divorce and he’s been always the one wanted to break up whenever we fight) He asked bagged me to divorce so I agreed and he submitted the paper work online.
And here starts the second issue.
I went to the bathroom having my phone with me and when I got out of the bathroom he yelled at me “Who were you talking to???? who's that guy!!!!” I was like what the hell I just peed thats all but then he said “I hear clear voice of you and the guy talking on the phone!!!!!!” and I told him I do remember saying some words for myself but he said he heard the guy’s voice clear. And he started asking him to give him the name of the guy but then I really have no idea what he is talking about so I just told him i don't know what you are talking about. But then he told me he actually knows whom I was talking to and he said its ***, the husband of his sister. I just lost my word there that I thought he has delusional disorder. And he also said “Now its all make sense! you’ve been consulting with him about our relationship all this time! that’s why he’s been rude to me!!!”
He told me several times before that his brother in law has been very rude to him so he doesn't wanna hang out with him anymore. But every time when he tells me that I wasn't very serious cuz his brother in law is very nice to me and I didn't see that he was rude to my husband. But once I did experience my self that his brother in law said a rude thing about my husband but then I thought maybe he just wanted to be funny or something so I didn't again take it seriously. But this was the whole reason why my husband has been feeling that I don't care about him. He wanted me to be on his side no matter what like it doesn't matter whether someone is nice to me or not if they are not nice to my husband I should be on his side. And I agree 100% with him that I should be on his side and listened him more carefully and be serious and pay attention.
BUT I’ve never talk to his brother in law more than necessary that I’ve never asked him for advice for our relationship. My husband even thinks that I’m in love with his brother in law that I’m protecting him by not telling my husband the truth. He even told his sister that her husband has been talking to me behind her back. She left home with the baby on that day but she’s back home next day and they are doing fine now I think she just trusted her husband and also she had no choice they already have a baby together I guess. Her husband of course told her he doesn't talk to me for anything and he has never been rude to my husband.
More and more I say I don't talk to him and his brother in law says he doesn't talk to me make my husband doubt that we are protecting each other that we have more serious relationship. My husband thinks that his brother in law brainwashed me….
There is really nothing going on between his brother in law and me but I cant prove it and he doesn't believe me cuz he clearly heard me and him talking on the phone when i was in the bathroom. He has the proof he says.
So I told him let’s divorce cuz all I can say is I’m clean and all you want me to do is to come clean and be honest with you tell everything what i have never done. I can lie and make up story but you will still bring this up later on and tell me things and this relationship wont be healthy. But then he says you really want to divorce with me? after putting everyone of my family and your family into this marriage??? And then he told me to go back to my country now so he can come join me later and start over there. He said all he wants is to protect this marriage and lets do this. So I booked the ticket and I'm back to my country already but since I came back he’s been ignoring my texts and calls for few days already….
I texted him last night saying that this was your whole plan huh? you just wanted to get rid of me and send me back to my country. And finally he responded me saying agin that you betrayed me and do you think I can forgive you, i cant be with someone who is always hiding from me,,,,,blah blah blah,,,,,,
At last he said if I truly want him to leave it all and come to my country and start over I will give brother in law up and tell him everything. Prove to him that I are willing to do that for him that he matters more than him. That we matter more than protecting him. He will NOT sacrifice it all if I fail to put it all on the line for him as well.
After seeing this text I started feeling like maybe I do have some kind of disorder that I don't remember what I do or something??? thinking that it looked like i have sleeping disorder that I've never knew so this time as well that i do have some kind of disorder that i forget things I have done…. but then if i was really talking to brother in law, brother in law can just be honest and tell that i was asking him for advice stuff like that.
I just don't know what to do…. if I should just lie and tell him what he thinks is the truth and move on with him in my country or just stick with myself and go with the truth I know just give up this marriage….
He really loves me a lot and i think he has “Pathological Jealousy”. Or I should really go to see a doctor…

Please help me…..

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 09:01 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

Is this for real?





If it is, have him start using a cell phone to video record you masturbating at night for proof. Have him show you the proof of your affair. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE PROOF?

On second thought, just divorce him and move back to your country and call it a life lesson to stay away from online dating websites.
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 09:07 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

He said he tried several times recording, but whenever he moves to get his phone i stop. and that what i also saw online that what sexomnia patient do... so i trusted him. And he thinks I'm using some kind of app like what sup to talk to his brother in law... and I asked him for proof of us talking but his proof is what he heard and thats enough....
and also like 4 years ago when he doubted i was cheating on him, he saw my message with my friend that i was telling her my boyfriend was hitting on me. but i didn't tell him until he actually showed me the message he saw so he thinks I'm very good at lying unless he can show me solid proof so he thinks that I'm again hiding this time...
We've met when i was living in the U.S. for my school and I'm very close to his family as well so this relationship has been very real and serious not like I've met him through online dating...

Last edited by 1123gh; 09-19-2016 at 09:12 PM.
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 09:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

He said he tried several times recording, but whenever he moves to get his phone i stop. and that what i also saw online that what sexomnia patient do... so i trusted him. And he thinks I'm using some kind of app like what sup to talk to his brother in law... and I asked him for proof of us talking but his proof is what he heard and thats enough....
and also like 4 years ago when he doubted i was cheating on him, he saw my message with my friend that i was telling her my boyfriend was hitting on me. but i didn't tell him until he actually showed me the message he saw so he thinks I'm very good at lying unless he can show me solid proof so he thinks that I'm again hiding this time...
We've met when i was living in the U.S. for my school and I'm very close to his family as well so this relationship has been very real and serious not like I've met him through online dating...
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 09:17 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

WTF? Your "husband" is seriously delusional and full of ridiculous drama?!! He's just making stuff about a thin air to yell at you about and cause drama. Sounds like a needy, manipulative control-freak to me!
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 09:19 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

As Adam Carolla would say.... "Please go find Jesus Christ and don't have g*dda*n kids!"
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 09:33 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

He's crazy. Let him go.

Stop talking to him, what's the point?

Start building up your life and working on being a good, happy person..... he's got more problems that he will admit. Find someone who is suitable for you...it's not him.
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 09:54 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1123gh View Post
After seeing this text I started feeling like maybe I do have some kind of disorder that I don't remember what I do or something??? thinking that it looked like i have sleeping disorder that I've never knew so this time as well that i do have some kind of disorder that i forget things I have done…. but then if i was really talking to brother in law, brother in law can just be honest and tell that i was asking him for advice stuff like that.

I just don't know what to do…. if I should just lie and tell him what he thinks is the truth and move on with him in my country or just stick with myself and go with the truth I know just give up this marriage….

He really loves me a lot and i think he has “Pathological Jealousy”. Or I should really go to see a doctor…

Please help me…..
How old are you and your husband?

Of course you do not lie and tell him what he wants. He will use that against you and you can never take it back. Plus you will be ruining your BIL's marriage because you know your husband will pass the lie on to ruin their marriage.

I'm afraid that your husband seems to suffer from something more than “Pathological Jealousy”.
Your husband sounds like a mentally ill man who suffers from some kind of psychosis. Perhaps he suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. I have a nephew who has that, he behaves a lot like the way you describe your husband. He hears and sees things that are not there.

If you want to verify whether or not you masturbate in your sleep, it's easy to do. Get a night vision video camera and put it so that it is focused on you in our sleep. See if you are doing it or not.

But you know that you are not talking to your BIL. So you know that your husband is not well mentally.

You really do need to divorce this guy. What you describe is not normal. It's way too much drama. No one should live under that kind of craziness.

I think your husband did trick you into leaving to punish you. Are you now stuck in your home country?
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 10:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

I'm 27 and he's 28. Since we've dated he's been a drama queen like always wanted to break up and ignores my texts and call for like few weeks sometimes... so I was kind of used to his drama but this is way too much compare to the past drama...

Yes I am stuck in my home country. I was overstaying in the united states but it was fine cuz i was applying for a green card but he even stopped that process so i don't think i will never be able to enter the united states. I wonder if i can divorce remotely...

I just remember that he asked me to take his passport with me so i can trust him that he is not doing this to just punish me but i end up not taking it. and for him to get a VISA to stay in my country we have to submit marriage paper work in my country as well and he said he sent me what i need for that on the day i left the airport so I'm not sure if he was really planning to come or just punishing....

Last edited by 1123gh; 09-19-2016 at 10:05 PM.
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 10:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

I just researched about "paranoid schizophrenia" and it sounds really like what he does. He told me about suicidal thoughts and it wasn't strong but he slapped me once as well...
should i tell him about this disorder and tell him to see a doctor? or i should leave this with his family? whats would be the best producer ? thank you

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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 10:25 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

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Originally Posted by 1123gh View Post
Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!
Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... My husband needs serious help!


Fixed that for you.

Quote:
I went to the bathroom having my phone with me and when I got out of the bathroom he yelled at me “Who were you talking to???? who's that guy!!!!” I was like what the hell I just peed thats all but then he said “I hear clear voice of you and the guy talking on the phone!!!!!!” and I told him I do remember saying some words for myself but he said he heard the guy’s voice clear. And he started asking him to give him the name of the guy but then I really have no idea what he is talking about so I just told him i don't know what you are talking about. But then he told me he actually knows whom I was talking to and he said its ***, the husband of his sister. I just lost my word there that I thought he has delusional disorder. And he also said “Now its all make sense! you’ve been consulting with him about our relationship all this time! that’s why he’s been rude to me!!!”


Maybe you can call the sister & husband and tell them to admit him ASAP! Also, do you have a history of mental illness? Why are you questioning your sanity instead of his?
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 10:30 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

No I don't have any mental illness history. But I trusted him about sexomnia so I thought I'm the one having issue... and just listening to him that he really heard me talking to BIL started making me feel like I'm the one crazy cuz one of us has to be mentally ill at this point....
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2016, 04:29 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

This is bizarre behavior. You need to see an attorney to find out how you can proceed with a divorce. Whatever you do, don't "confess" to something that isn't true just to shut him up. I doubt that he has any intention of coming to your country regardless.

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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2016, 05:22 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

Schizophrenia.
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2016, 05:47 PM
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Re: My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!

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Originally Posted by 1123gh View Post
I'm 27 and he's 28. Since we've dated he's been a drama queen like always wanted to break up and ignores my texts and call for like few weeks sometimes... so I was kind of used to his drama but this is way too much compare to the past drama...

Yes I am stuck in my home country. I was overstaying in the united states but it was fine cuz i was applying for a green card but he even stopped that process so i don't think i will never be able to enter the united states. I wonder if i can divorce remotely...

I just remember that he asked me to take his passport with me so i can trust him that he is not doing this to just punish me but i end up not taking it. and for him to get a VISA to stay in my country we have to submit marriage paper work in my country as well and he said he sent me what i need for that on the day i left the airport so I'm not sure if he was really planning to come or just punishing....
If you had taken his passport, he would not be able to travel until he got a new one. I could report it stolen. So you taking it would not have proven anything.

He's not there now. He's punishing based on the things he experience in his psychosis.

Yes you can file for divorce remotely. Just look for an attorney where he lives and have the attorney do it.

Aren't you afraid to be around a man who seems to see/hear things that are not there?
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