My husband hear things or I have mental disorder... I need serious help!
My husband dated 6 years and we just got married 2 months ago. This is an international marriage and we had long distance relationship for about 1 year and half but I used to live in the U.S. before. During that time he visited me once last winter. After considering lots of things I quit my job and left my family and friends to be with him in the U.S. Since I came back he thinks I've changed a lot and he didn't even want to marry me anymore but I convinced him that I will change and make an effort and he accepted and we got married in July. Part of the issue was that he is very sexually active but I'm not. He was not like that before long distance and I'm assuming that it is because of the long distance we had and also he quit the job for concentrating in study for his grad school basically all he does is studying at home. And this comes the first issue, he also told me that I refuse to have sex with him but I masturbate in sleep and when he tries to join me I get mad or stops what I'm doing. I was shocked cuz I have no idea what he was talking about and I thought he went crazy but he just kept asked me to be honest with him. I just thought its so weird so I went online and searched about it and realized that what he was telling me seems like symptom of the sleeping disorder called "Sleep sex, or sexsomnia". The symptom matches exactly what he was explaining how I act at night. So I told him looks like I have sleeping disorder and he accepted me for who I am and he proposed me officially and we decided to get married. After that we didn't have any issue for awhile, we got married, started applying paper work for me so I can stay in the U.S.
And 10 days ago he started acting weird again I can tell that he is mad. He even spend a night at his friend's house didn't come back for one night and in the morning when he came back he asked my consent for divorcing him. I was again shocked I thought everything was going fine but he was just so ready to submit paper work. He was again saying that I'm not giving him enough attention and I don't care and love him enough that I don't deserve him. I told him again that I will change so lets work this marriage out but he told me he’s been feeling so miserable and if I really love me please let me go.(this is like the second time he wanted to divorce and he’s been always the one wanted to break up whenever we fight) He asked bagged me to divorce so I agreed and he submitted the paper work online.
And here starts the second issue.
I went to the bathroom having my phone with me and when I got out of the bathroom he yelled at me “Who were you talking to???? who's that guy!!!!” I was like what the hell I just peed thats all but then he said “I hear clear voice of you and the guy talking on the phone!!!!!!” and I told him I do remember saying some words for myself but he said he heard the guy’s voice clear. And he started asking him to give him the name of the guy but then I really have no idea what he is talking about so I just told him i don't know what you are talking about. But then he told me he actually knows whom I was talking to and he said its ***, the husband of his sister. I just lost my word there that I thought he has delusional disorder. And he also said “Now its all make sense! you’ve been consulting with him about our relationship all this time! that’s why he’s been rude to me!!!”
He told me several times before that his brother in law has been very rude to him so he doesn't wanna hang out with him anymore. But every time when he tells me that I wasn't very serious cuz his brother in law is very nice to me and I didn't see that he was rude to my husband. But once I did experience my self that his brother in law said a rude thing about my husband but then I thought maybe he just wanted to be funny or something so I didn't again take it seriously. But this was the whole reason why my husband has been feeling that I don't care about him. He wanted me to be on his side no matter what like it doesn't matter whether someone is nice to me or not if they are not nice to my husband I should be on his side. And I agree 100% with him that I should be on his side and listened him more carefully and be serious and pay attention.
BUT I’ve never talk to his brother in law more than necessary that I’ve never asked him for advice for our relationship. My husband even thinks that I’m in love with his brother in law that I’m protecting him by not telling my husband the truth. He even told his sister that her husband has been talking to me behind her back. She left home with the baby on that day but she’s back home next day and they are doing fine now I think she just trusted her husband and also she had no choice they already have a baby together I guess. Her husband of course told her he doesn't talk to me for anything and he has never been rude to my husband.
More and more I say I don't talk to him and his brother in law says he doesn't talk to me make my husband doubt that we are protecting each other that we have more serious relationship. My husband thinks that his brother in law brainwashed me….
There is really nothing going on between his brother in law and me but I cant prove it and he doesn't believe me cuz he clearly heard me and him talking on the phone when i was in the bathroom. He has the proof he says.
So I told him let’s divorce cuz all I can say is I’m clean and all you want me to do is to come clean and be honest with you tell everything what i have never done. I can lie and make up story but you will still bring this up later on and tell me things and this relationship wont be healthy. But then he says you really want to divorce with me? after putting everyone of my family and your family into this marriage??? And then he told me to go back to my country now so he can come join me later and start over there. He said all he wants is to protect this marriage and lets do this. So I booked the ticket and I'm back to my country already but since I came back he’s been ignoring my texts and calls for few days already….
I texted him last night saying that this was your whole plan huh? you just wanted to get rid of me and send me back to my country. And finally he responded me saying agin that you betrayed me and do you think I can forgive you, i cant be with someone who is always hiding from me,,,,,blah blah blah,,,,,,
At last he said if I truly want him to leave it all and come to my country and start over I will give brother in law up and tell him everything. Prove to him that I are willing to do that for him that he matters more than him. That we matter more than protecting him. He will NOT sacrifice it all if I fail to put it all on the line for him as well.
After seeing this text I started feeling like maybe I do have some kind of disorder that I don't remember what I do or something??? thinking that it looked like i have sleeping disorder that I've never knew so this time as well that i do have some kind of disorder that i forget things I have done…. but then if i was really talking to brother in law, brother in law can just be honest and tell that i was asking him for advice stuff like that.
I just don't know what to do…. if I should just lie and tell him what he thinks is the truth and move on with him in my country or just stick with myself and go with the truth I know just give up this marriage….
He really loves me a lot and i think he has “Pathological Jealousy”. Or I should really go to see a doctor…
Please help me…..