Have i fallen out of love or is it a blip? - Talk About Marriage
Considering Divorce or Separation If you're considering divorce or separation, this is the place to talk.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-29-2011, 03:31 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1
Have i fallen out of love or is it a blip?

I am 33 and have been married for 12 years. Since the birth of our second child (5 years ago) we have drifted apart slowly. We both work full time and we have become a tag team. I go to bed early while he stays up. I am out weekdays at work, and usually a couple of nights a week at netball and work events. He works shifts including nights and weekends.
everyone tells me you have to make time for each other but when i know we are going to be alone, I panic. I feel sick, i create arguments to avoid it or go out. We have had sex 5 times in 3 years (or so my husband tells me). Sex is not good. He iritates me and I am pretty sure I do the same to him.
We imploded 3 months ago when in the heat of an argument I said I wasn't sure if I was still in love with him! I don't know if this is true but I know that i feel awkward around him. I dread being alone with him. I cringe when he touches me. He has become very clingy and over-the-top with affection. He is constantly telling me that I am holding his life in my hands and that i have given him a life sentance! The guilt and pressure is unbearable. He makes me feel like the biggest cow in the world.
I love my kids more than anything and don't want to ruin their life too.
How do I know if this will pass? Am i being selfish? Should i just sleep with him and pretend, hoping that it will eventually right itself?

don'tknowwhy is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-29-2011, 04:05 PM
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,144
Re: Have i fallen out of love or is it a blip?

You have lots of questions about yourself. See a counselor and start digging into "you" and find those answers. Be sure to tell your H that you are going to do this, and that it will take time to make some progress. He should be supportive in knowing you are working on things.
HerToo is offline  
post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-29-2011, 05:55 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 7
Re: Have i fallen out of love or is it a blip?

It actually sounds like your mind is made up already (by reading your post). Know that your children will be better off in life with a happy mother and father, and not two miserable people. Personally, I would not want the kids to grow up thinking that the dynamic between the two of you is healthy. Seriously, so many people "stay together for the kids" and it's the farthest thing that is right for them.

If you're really not sure, send me a message I have a resource available that may help you decide. Talk soon.
ACQMAN is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wife says she's fallen in love with another man. plutarch Going Through Divorce or Separation 32 03-30-2013 12:53 PM
My wife has fallen out of love..... jackp General Relationship Discussion 7 04-18-2012 05:00 PM
fallen out of love... southerngirl210 Considering Divorce or Separation 5 07-31-2011 03:47 PM
I've fallen out of love Ravenxster Physical & Mental Health Issues 2 07-20-2010 11:44 AM
Fallen out of love In limbo The Ladies' Lounge 3 04-05-2010 04:03 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome