Originally Posted by rx7marsh
Man am i trying, ive seen Col. Jones earlier today of the 101st. And another chaplin. There pretty much both saying it happens. And that they think i should jsut calm down. They said they were going to call over there today and talk to her. To try and make her see that divorce will only cause problems and if she really wants it to wait. I dont want to fight with my wife. I love her so much. Shes done so much for me and our daughter i cant just let her walk away.
Like i said i wasnt ready to be marryed when we did. But i've come to love and cherish samantha for the woman she is. Shes loving, caring, smartm beautiful kind. Its unreal how much this destroys me inside. I dont want to loose feelings for my wife. She wont listen to me tho. I dont want a divorce. And if i decline i dont want to piss her off and when she gets back she'll act like she hates me or something. I dont want to take that chance. I wont give up.
Look man. You do need to calm down. You are acting somewhat irrational and considering the situation it's normal. Maybe you need to go to ACS (Army Community Services) and see about talking to a Marriage Counsellor. They might be able to help you out and give you advise on how to better communicate with your wife.
Hate to tell you this... but if this is the way your wife is acting... she's probably having an affair over there with someone. Seems odd that we would have such a radical attitude change out of the blue like that. She will most likely deny it but I'll tell you true since I've been over to Iraq myself 3 times and afghanistan once, 9 times out of 10... the spouse is cheating. Plain and simple. I've seen people go absolutely nuts over there and just start having sex every chance they get and it boggles the mind at times.
I am on my second marriage and I will tell you something about Divorce in the military. You can in fact file for divorce while she is deployed. However, they will not give you a court date until she gets back because you both have a child together. I am assuming the child is both of yours correct? You will NOT need to wait 6 months either. I can't believe they tried feeding you that bunch of bull.
I also can't believe she's telling you to reenlist just to stay there and she will still want a divorce? That's pretty stupid if you ask me. Sounds like she's tryiing to have her cake and eat it too. She wants you around to be the babysitter so she can go out and "date". Don't do it.
I will also warn you about something... I have been in the military 11 years now and for both of my marriages. My first wife literally tried destroying my career and life with a crap load of false accusations and threats when I refused to do the thngs she wanted and the divorce got messy and that was without children present in the marriage. If you reenlist... watch yourself because it will give her the foothold she needs to screw you over if she wants to do so. When it comes to marriage... the military will assume you are guilty first until you are proven innocent and by then... it's already to late for you. You'll already have your counselings, Article 15's, your flagging, etc. Again, don't do it.