Re: Husband wants a divorce, after he cheats, 3 small kids-please help!!!
We did try counseling, got more active in the church, really focused on the marriage when the affair was first revealed. Everything was complicated by the fact that we had a newborn baby and he had a "mental breakdown" when i found out and claimed he was going to committ suicide and was put on anti-depressants. So I never had a chance to put him out, grieve, and "decide" to take him back or not. I immediately went into caretaker mode when he had his breakdown, agreed to counseling, etc... and we started working on things. Well when he regained his mental stability (if you will) and started to revert back to some of his old attitudes I just mentally checked out of the process. Now he blames me. He says that when he was trying, I wasn't, I rejected him, etc... and he is just not happy, he can't please me, there is so much more in the world than me, he's finally in a position where he's making 6 figures and moving up in the career ladder, etc... and he's not even 30 so why would he want to continue to be tied down and restricted by me when he can have all the wonderful things that the world has to offer. I was dumbfounded listening to him, thinking who are you??? do you remember who toiled and sacrificed with you to get to the point that "we" have reached and what about the children, they adore him. all he's concerned about is money and himself. he says, oh i'm gonna always provide for them that's not a question, but being married to me is "optional" and he's ready to opt out. he's treating me like i'm the one who cheated. he is so angry and resentful toward me. but he was the one who wanted to get married and w/ each of the pregnancy's i was a litte depressed and he would be the one saying, don't worry about it baby we can have 10 kids, we'll be together 4ever, etc...my point is i didn't trap him or trick him, he chose this life now he's mad at me for his/both our choices. I'm so confused, but I'm preparing myself and my children for life w/out him.