I already sent an email to her sisters outlining exactly that information 2 weeks ago.
So I filed for divorce on Friday. My wife moved back into the house last Tuesday, it is her house as much as mine, so not much I can say, we live in separate rooms. Last night she broke a little and asked why I even want a divorce. I printer out the story that starts this thread and told her this is why. She read it over and said that her mom was not diagnosed as bi-polar, she was however diagnosed as OCD, delusional and depressed. My wife also stated that I self diagnosed her as having a borderline personality, she disagrees. I don't like to label people, but borderline and all of it's accompanying symptoms are the best tag I can find for how she acts, so that's what I named it.
She does not want to divorce, but she has not once addressed the drinking, smoking and the fact that she has a MS degree and chooses to work for $10 an hours on a part time basis. She earns $900 a month and that's all spent on wine, cigarettes, beauty subscription products and whatever gifts she buys for people. I paid for that MS degree so she could be an equal partner in this relationship, she was clear on that when I met her 9 years ago. Her two sisters have MS degrees, so I paid for my wife to get one so she would feel equal to them because I know how sensitive she is and also so she could contribute to the family finances.
So she came to me last night and sat at the corner of the bed while I was falling to sleep and said she didn't want a divorce and that I'm being unreasonable. She held a compassionate tone for 1 - 2 minutes and then, as always, began with the personal attacks on me. ('I'm a selfish narcissist and a sociopath because all I care about is money'. 'Her family sees right through me'. 'I'm a product of divorce so I'm messed up from the beginning'. She's going to find a rich athlete and I'l be sorry'. 'I'll only find unattractive women with kids'. 'I'll never find what I want'. 'You don't have a degree so ____________'. Don't forget were you came from, you're whit trash'.
She calls me a selfish narcissist and sometimes a sociopath often. I am very ambitious. I've always wanted to be self employed and have complete financial freedom to travel the world and then to raise a family free of financial restrictions. I read roughly 36 business / mindset books a year for the past 4 years about self improvement, because I don't have any degrees so I have to teach myself. I'm the past two years I have become the self employed person I always wanted to be and I earned more last year than I ever thought I would starting out.
My wife claims that she has always supported me but the truth is she belittles my ambitions and my lack of a formal education often. When I first started in real estate and left my career in the military as a recruiter, she would make comments such as: 'oh, you think you're going to be some rich house flipper'. 'Everyone sees that you've changed, we all see right through you'. All you care about is money'.
I don't neglect my wife in the pursuit of business. I've taken her to Germany, France, Spain, Portugal and Costa Rica all in the past 3 years. I offer to take her out to new restaurants every weekend. When I'm at home I cook her excellent meals. I do almost all of the cooking. She'll heat up a pizza and expect me to bend at the knee and show respect.
She's made no comments about going into therapy on her own. She has definitely not brought up her under employed situation and what she aims to do about it. She did mention that she made an appointment to see a doctor about quiting smoking (do you need a doctor to motivate you to quit? JUST QUIT WITH THE F'ING SMOKING!) She seems to drink just as much. 7-8 liters of wine a weeks or 1.5 -2 bottles a day.
I went on Match.com a few weeks ago and found that there actually are hundreds of single or divorced woman that are attractive and within 30 miles of me.. and with no kids. Went on 2 dates with an attorney, a motivated, lively, intelligent attorney.