Hi everyone,
My wife and I have been married for 5 years and I'll be honest its been a tough 5 years. We have argued nearly every day at least over something small, at most we have gone a couple days without arguing. Swearing at each other badly? Done dozens of times. Said extremely means things to one another? Yup. All of the arguing over the years has weighed on me and now I feel like I want out because I keep thinking there's someone else out there for me. Heck, every day I notice at least one women out in public and think "I wonder how much better my life would be with her". If today you asked me if I felt my wife is my soulmate I would say no and she would say the same thing.
There are so many things I can bring up to explain why I'm unhappy but here's the main ones
1. We have said so many mean things to one other it seems hard to look past them at times
2. Lack of intimacy. We have sex maybe once a month and never have anything to talk about afterwards. She wants to have kids and now it just feels like that's the next step...
3. I always lead the marriage. I'm the one always making the plans, booking the trips, suggesting things to do on our house, etc.
4. I'm very independent and have multiple hobbies. My wife's main hobby is watching TV, she blames her unhappinies with our marriage why as why she doesn't have any hobbies... I want to be with someone who wants to share their own interests with me
5. Religious differences. My wife and her family are more religious then me. I've felt uncomfortable a few times with how religious her family can become and she get's pissed if I bring it up later.
6. Weight. My wife and I have both gained a lot of weight since getting married and I think that has hurt us. I don't feel phyiscally attracted to her anymore and have little desire to get in shape again like I once was.
I'm feeling trapped as if my life is done and that the next step is to just have kids and hope things work out. The idea of being single again and doing whatever I want, traveling, seeing friends and just feeling independent again is something I dwell on more and more as this marriage goes on. I feel bad saying this but I actually like when my wife is gone for a day or I get home from work early as in those moments I feel like I'm me again. However, I also say to myself "Well, do you want to die alone", "maybe it will work out", "you haven't tried hard enough", and "maybe you won't find someone else".
My wife and I have come close to divorcing a couple times yet have never gone though with it. I think we both keep thinking that it will work out and are also afraid of feeling ashamed telling our family if we got a divorce. It's gotten so bad that I think I would miss our dog more (she would take the dog) then her...
What should I do?
Thank you
My wife and I have been married for 5 years and I'll be honest its been a tough 5 years. We have argued nearly every day at least over something small, at most we have gone a couple days without arguing. Swearing at each other badly? Done dozens of times. Said extremely means things to one another? Yup. All of the arguing over the years has weighed on me and now I feel like I want out because I keep thinking there's someone else out there for me. Heck, every day I notice at least one women out in public and think "I wonder how much better my life would be with her". If today you asked me if I felt my wife is my soulmate I would say no and she would say the same thing.
There are so many things I can bring up to explain why I'm unhappy but here's the main ones
1. We have said so many mean things to one other it seems hard to look past them at times
2. Lack of intimacy. We have sex maybe once a month and never have anything to talk about afterwards. She wants to have kids and now it just feels like that's the next step...
3. I always lead the marriage. I'm the one always making the plans, booking the trips, suggesting things to do on our house, etc.
4. I'm very independent and have multiple hobbies. My wife's main hobby is watching TV, she blames her unhappinies with our marriage why as why she doesn't have any hobbies... I want to be with someone who wants to share their own interests with me
5. Religious differences. My wife and her family are more religious then me. I've felt uncomfortable a few times with how religious her family can become and she get's pissed if I bring it up later.
6. Weight. My wife and I have both gained a lot of weight since getting married and I think that has hurt us. I don't feel phyiscally attracted to her anymore and have little desire to get in shape again like I once was.
I'm feeling trapped as if my life is done and that the next step is to just have kids and hope things work out. The idea of being single again and doing whatever I want, traveling, seeing friends and just feeling independent again is something I dwell on more and more as this marriage goes on. I feel bad saying this but I actually like when my wife is gone for a day or I get home from work early as in those moments I feel like I'm me again. However, I also say to myself "Well, do you want to die alone", "maybe it will work out", "you haven't tried hard enough", and "maybe you won't find someone else".
My wife and I have come close to divorcing a couple times yet have never gone though with it. I think we both keep thinking that it will work out and are also afraid of feeling ashamed telling our family if we got a divorce. It's gotten so bad that I think I would miss our dog more (she would take the dog) then her...
What should I do?
Thank you