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post #16 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 04:40 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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[/B]

Not a snowball's chance in hell of that developing. He blew that from the get-go. Read her first thread to get a more clear picture of what she's dealing with.
Which part exactly? Where he took photo of her legs and touched his wife intimately while she was sleeping?

I am not saying any of this sounds normal, especially the way it is presented. However we only know one side of the story. What is NOT normal is people jumping to conclusions that he is also taking pictures of the daughters and uploading them onto the internet at the same time. How does one arrive from A to .... X??

They should have a proper conversation and his wife should find out what it's exactly all about. He may have a block and not able to communicate his preferences properly. Or he may be a total freak. Who the hell knows?


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post #17 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 04:59 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

Just a suggestion....wear some damn clothes to bed.....there I said it. whew......

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post #18 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 07:21 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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Which part exactly? Where he took photo of her legs and touched his wife intimately while she was sleeping?

I am not saying any of this sounds normal, especially the way it is presented. However we only know one side of the story. What is NOT normal is people jumping to conclusions that he is also taking pictures of the daughters and uploading them onto the internet at the same time. How does one arrive from A to .... X??

They should have a proper conversation and his wife should find out what it's exactly all about. He may have a block and not able to communicate his preferences properly. Or he may be a total freak. Who the hell knows?
The part where she says she tried to have a conversation with him about it but he just says he loves her. He won't discuss her feelings. He won't have a conversation.

So, why don't you advise her how to have 'a proper conversation' when her husband won't talk?

I'll say it, again: Expose him to his parents. Maybe his parents can explain it to him in a manner in which he can understand.
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post #19 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 07:37 PM
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More pictures while I'm sleeping

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The part where she says she tried to have a conversation with him about it but he just says he loves her. He won't discuss her feelings. He won't have a conversation.



So, why don't you advise her how to have 'a proper conversation' when her husband won't talk?



I'll say it, again: Expose him to his parents. Maybe his parents can explain it to him in a manner in which he can understand.


Yes I have no idea what "tried to go deep" means at all. Do you?

What is exposing him to his parents going to achieve?

I have tons of nude photos of my wife, with her permission of course. Maybe he has trouble asking.
What is she exactly offended about? Being the object of his sexual desire, perhaps expressed in an awkward manner?
They need to learn to communicate with each other.


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post #20 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 07:55 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

Putting it another way: should she, in your opinion, be more offended if she found out that he masturbated to porn or to the nude photos of his wife?
Anything else is currently speculation. If there are darker undertones, she should report him to police, not his parents.


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post #21 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:00 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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Which part exactly? Where he took photo of her legs and touched his wife intimately while she was sleeping?

I am not saying any of this sounds normal, especially the way it is presented. However we only know one side of the story.

You are 100% correct...We only have one side of the story....But, do you understand how forums like this work? We are here to help, as much as possible, with the information presented. It's taken at face value, initially, even if it sounds a little off. If there is an elephant hiding in the corner somewhere...it tends to get teased out eventually...then the advice and opinions may change to address the corrected information. So T.L.D.R ....Duh

What is NOT normal is people jumping to conclusions that he is also taking pictures of the daughters and uploading them onto the internet at the same time. How does one arrive from A to .... X??


Seriously? This doesn't really equate to a massive leap from A to X....It's more of a A to B....A to C...at the most. Why? Because past behavior is a relatively good indicator of future behavior......OP Husband's behavior has escalated, over time......you know....many deviant behaviors escalate over time.... Typically taking the successive turns from Bad to Really Bad to Worse...to Serious Damage...You do see how being concerned about the safety of her child.....isn't "Jumping to Conclusions"....it's encouraging OP to make decisions that ensure her daughter's safety. It's encouraging her to look past her own fears and make sure her child is safe......

You do realize....that...in effect....you are taking the position that her daughter's safety is less important than.....what exactly? What are you actually suggesting here? Oh yeah....that's below...


They should have a proper conversation and his wife should find out what it's exactly all about. He may have a block and not able to communicate his preferences properly. Or he may be a total freak. Who the hell knows?
So, your suggestion is "a proper conversation"? I would put forth....that many many cameras....even in bathrooms....Uploading to hidden devices.....done without the subject's permission...persistently....continued even in the face of protest...Beyond actually being a crime....is a dangerous situation for both OP and her children. This activity is evidence of an escalating pattern of behavior inconsistent with that of person in control of either themselves of their basic faculties....and quite beyond the pale of what would be considered normal behavior for a husband and father.

I can understand security...I have dozens of cameras on my home, outlying gates, my office, Equipment yards, etc....However, I don't have them in Restrooms. I don't have them in bedrooms. Further....my wife & my children have access to the live feeds....from their phones....whenever they want.

What OP's Husband is doing isn't security....it's the opposite.

Just my .02....

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post #22 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:05 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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Putting it another way: should she, in your opinion, be more offended if she found out that he masturbated to porn or to the nude photos of his wife?

This fails to address the actual issue which is illegal surveillance and the ERADICATION of any form of privacy of security in her home. Nice attempt to re-frame the narrative though.....


Anything else is currently speculation.

Duh...it's all speculation....OP came here for help.


If there are darker undertones,

Sooooo...this isn't dark NOW?

she should report him to police together WITH his parents.

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post #23 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:11 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

As I said previously, if there is ANY indication at all that the filming has been directed at anyone but his wife for sexual gratification, she has a duty to report him to the police.
Can you show me how you arrived at the conclusion that his past behaviour (filming his wife), predicts his future behaviour? (E.g. filming anyone else).
I have taken photos of my wife 20 years ago, and I still ONLY take photos of her, when nudity is concerned.
Nobody apart from you is putting elephants into the room, given the information disclosed.


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post #24 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:12 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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As I said previously, if there is ANY indication at all that the filming has been directed at anyone but his wife for sexual gratification, she has a duty to report him to the police.
He's been filming her, without her knowledge IN THE BATHROOM.

She should have hauled his ass into court already for that alone.
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post #25 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:20 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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As I said previously, if there is ANY indication at all that the filming has been directed at anyone but his wife for sexual gratification, she has a duty to report him to the police.
Can you show me how you arrived at the conclusion that his past behaviour (filming his wife), predicts his future behaviour? (E.g. filming anyone else).
I have taken photos of my wife 20 years ago, and I still ONLY take photos of her, when nudity is concerned.
Nobody apart from you is putting elephants into the room, given the information disclosed.


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Uhhh. Seriously? You are new to this whole....past behavior is an indicator of future behavior?

Lovin the anecdotal evidence...."I've never done that...therefore...No one else would do that....Because....Reasons"


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post #26 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:21 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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He's been filming her, without her knowledge IN THE BATHROOM.

She should have hauled his ass into court already for that alone.
Yep....This, boys and girls...is what we call a CRIME.

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post #27 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:28 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

It seems to be legal to record people in your own home, from googling it.
Obviously this case is going beyond that so I guess until she knows exactly what his kinks are and if he ever recorded anyone else, it's difficult to comment.
It can be viewed as violation of privacy and betrayal of trust or it can be viewed as however she likes to view it. If conversation not at all possible, it's doubtful trust was there in the first place.


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post #28 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:31 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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It seems to be legal to record people in your own home, from googling it.

In the U.S., you cannot photograph a person, regardless of age, who has a ‘reasonable expectation of privacy‘. This is someone who believes that he or she is in a private location and no-one is watching.


https://www.quora.com/Is-it-illegal-...y-are-an-adult
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post #29 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:38 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

You are insinuating that because he is filming his wife, his daughters must therefore also be in danger and accuse me of re-framing the narrative?
Never mind.
Btw i'm in no way condoning his actions (it's wrong, if the other person doesn't know about it) but I cannot stand it when people jump to ridiculous conclusions for the sake of it. I'm just offering an alternative possibility to help & get over the initial (justified) shock and perhaps have a proper conversation before tearing family apart. The latter can always be done, but never be undone.


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post #30 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:40 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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It seems to be legal to record people in your own home, from googling it.
Obviously this case is going beyond that so I guess until she knows exactly what his kinks are and if he ever recorded anyone else, it's difficult to comment.


Still sticking with the Reframing...huh? Nice backtrack though.

It can be viewed as violation of privacy and betrayal of trust or it can be viewed as however she likes to view it. If conversation not at all possible, it's doubtful trust was there in the first place.


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Like....a Bank Robbery....can be viewed as an unanticipated withdrawal by a non-account holder.

A rape...could simply be....an Unrequested Semen Donation...

Words mean things. framing the discussion in such a way, as to reduce the impact or severity of the situation does little but cloud the reality. OP has plenty of Rationalization going on already....She needs no help with that.

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