More pictures while I'm sleeping - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 04:46 AM Thread Starter
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More pictures while I'm sleeping

Hello again,
It's been a while since I posted here. A while ago I shared my story about my husband's obsession with taking pictures of my private parts while I'm sleeping.
On Mother's Day I found 2 spy cameras in my bathroom and I was furious and almost moved out. He cried and cried asking for forgiveness, saying that he learned his lesson.
Couple of months ago I found an iPod with pics of my butt! But I haven't sayed a word. Everyday I find more stuff, like spy cameras, a millions of different charges, portable hard drivers, a laptop that I never see him using it, and so on.
This time I want to file for separation. I don't wanna press charges against him because our first daughter is 14 years old and that would be traumatic.
For those of you going trough divorce or separation and have small children, not enough money to be on your own, not family members close, HOW YOU DO IT?
Selling the house now is not possible. I have my in laws too and I can't make them move again. They're in late 70s!
It is really possible to be separated under the same roof?? I don't like the idea but my shift starts early in the morning and my son is only 4. I don't wanna leave him here, even thou my husband is overalll a good father.
I feel stuck in a hole😞
Any advise is greatly appreciated and thanks for reading this.
( no marriage counseling )

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post #2 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 05:00 AM
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Cool Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

I don't rightly know if you are saying that you don't want MC or that if MC is not an option, but in my honest opinion and at an absolute minimum, your hubby is going to have to seriously enroll himself in IC(Individual Counseling) if this marriage has a snowballs chance in hell of ever surviving!

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post #3 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 06:40 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

If your biggest concern is his lack of respecting your boundaries living under the same roof isn't an option. Do you think that will make him stop taking secret pictures of you? I remember you story from before, if I was you I would be scared to death he was taking pictures of your 14 year old daughter as well. Even if you never find pictures of your daughter I would bet he has them, if he has cameras set up in the home she has wondered into some of those pictures. You are afraid of causing her trauma by charging her father, but think of the trauma when pictures of her start turning up on the internet.

First thing is I hope you are documenting everything, create a file for copies of all the pictures you can find, copies of receipts for all his surveillance gear, take pictures of the hidden cameras when you find them, keep track of all his new and old electronic devises.

Here's a major issue in my eyes, if you separate or divorce he still has all the pictures, pictures of you, possibly your friends, possibly pictures of your daughter and of her friends. With those pictures in his possession how could you ever relax? Those pictures could show up on the internet tomorrow or ten years from now.

The least traumatic approach I could see would be to hire a forensic investigator to examine all your husbands electronics, you could do this without the kids knowledge but your husband would need to be willing to have it done (and I bet he wont). An investigator may be able to find all those hidden folders and delete them. A couple of negatives though, if the pictures have been posted off device they're out there forever, they can't be pulled back.. and if the investigator finds pictures of minors I believe he will have an obligation to involve the authorities, your husband will go to jail.

If this was just a one time thing I wouldn't worry so much, but this has been an on going issue, he has a compulsion he can't stop, he has just become more subversive by hiding cameras around the house. He needs help and you need to protect yourself and your kids.

OP I feel very sorry for you, you are in a very uncomfortable position, now matter what you do lives will be affected.

Last edited by Cooper; 12-26-2016 at 11:25 AM.
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post #4 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:46 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

Being separated IN THE SAME HOUSE isn't going to solve the problem of him taking pictures/videos. You either leave or he leaves, then you rid the house of all cameras.

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post #5 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 08:47 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

You can assume he's sharing those private pictures of you in the bathroom with a group of deviants online. These types of wackjobs tend to seek each other out so they can swap their goods.

I read your prior thread and I realize that you're unwilling to take any legal action against him because you don't want to traumatize your 14 year old daughter and you can't afford to live on your own.

Well you could go balls to the wall and have him legally removed from the house and he'd probably be forced to pay you support until you can become self supporting- but since you don't want to do anything like that I suggest you just always walk around fully clothed because those cameras are probably everywhere. He's probably taken pictures of your daughter and shared those too. Think about that the next time you want to "spare her the trauma of seeing her dad facing legal charges".

I swear some people must love to be victims. There's just no other answer.

Last edited by browser; 12-26-2016 at 08:52 AM.
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post #6 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 09:07 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

Tell his parents!
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post #7 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 09:12 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

This takes strange and creepy to a whole new level...damn.

I assume you are finding wireless cameras? There is probably audio as well.

You need a signal jammer. It will stop all of them within a particular radius....disrupting both video and audio....Additionally, he is probably running them through your router or a router extension. To be cautious...of your using the facilities....simply unplug the routers.

I feel for you, it has to be frustrating as hell, being under constant surveillance

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post #8 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 09:51 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

This train-wreck doesn't even enter the realm of counseling so that's about the LAST thing I'd suggest.

As Browser mentioned, you're completely unwilling to bring charges on this perverted pig because you're so worried about "traumatizing" your daughter - yet you're completely fine with the fact that SHE'S living with this mouth breathing cretin and all his 100s of cameras and secret drives and everything ELSE around the house, too.

Are you really that obtuse or are you just choosing to bury your head in the sand because it's so nice and warm around your ears? Admittedly, you stopped being a victim a while ago and are now a volunteer.

First - your in-laws are NOT your problem. They're your pervert husband's problem, so why are you using them as an excuse to not be able to leave?

Secondly, your husband will have to pay child support for the children he CHOSE to have with you. Regardless of whether he's a sick loser or not, that doesn't preclude him from abiding by the law like every other divorced or separated father. If you leave, your children are entitled to child support so it would be worth your while to visit a lawyer and find out what that amount would BE, since it would be used toward your housing and living expenses along with your salary.

Third, you need to lower your expectations with respect to where you'd live if you left. Just because you can't afford the same standard of living out on your own that you have now is no excuse to stay with this assclown. So what if it's an apartment or a rundown house rental? You make it into a healthy home - it doesn't have to be 'house beautiful' material.

If you keep making up excuses for why you can't leave, you'll continue to deal with this disgusting behavior - which now may include your daugher.
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post #9 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 10:00 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

I agree with @MarriedDude, this is beyond creepy weird.

Are you sure he is not posting the pics on the internet? I would not be surprised if he has not done so already.

Last edited by rockon; 12-26-2016 at 03:22 PM.
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post #10 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 11:00 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

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Originally Posted by rockon View Post
I agree with @MarriedDude, this beyond creepy weird.

Are you sure he is not posting the pics on the internet? I would not be surprised if he has not done so already.
I think the probability that he is posting them SOMEWHERE is very high. An image search and alert using TOR...not the lame browsers, would be the best method to search for any image indexed...it wouldnt find thsm everywhere...but would be a pretty thorough look-see.


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post #11 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 11:45 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

OMG....I would be terrified that this fetish translates to your TEEN daughter.

Please stop worrying what a divorce would do to her, or what knowing about her fathers actions would do to her. Stop it before he gets HER ON CAMERA! i KNOW YOU THINK he has not done it, and he may not have, but he is assaulting you in a form by taking pictures without you knowing.

This is VERY VERY VERY WRONG and you know it. Pop this **** NOW!
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post #12 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 11:59 AM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

So dang creepy, I would be worried about both children getting on camera.

He is a big pervert, that needs to commit himself somewhere for proper help, he is only sorry he got caught you need to stop being delusional, he is harmful to the children as well and any friends you have over.



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post #13 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 02:18 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

Is it not possible to have an honest & open conversation to find out exactly what the deal is first before jumping to conclusions/divorce?
There are many "fetishes", some of them are harmless, some of them very much not. If it's a harmless kind (for example if he wants to have nude photos of you but is too embarrassed to ask), maybe this can be discussed? That said, you should obviously never put yourself in a situation where you would feel uncomfortable. Some things can work quite well in foreplay, provided there is trust and honesty.
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post #14 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 02:59 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Is it not possible to have an honest & open conversation to find out exactly what the deal is first before jumping to conclusions/divorce?
There are many "fetishes", some of them are harmless, some of them very much not. If it's a harmless kind (for example if he wants to have nude photos of you but is too embarrassed to ask), maybe this can be discussed? That said, you should obviously never put yourself in a situation where you would feel uncomfortable. Some things can work quite well in foreplay, provided there is trust and honesty.


Not a snowball's chance in hell of that developing. He blew that from the get-go. Read her first thread to get a more clear picture of what she's dealing with.
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post #15 of 82 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 04:35 PM
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Re: More pictures while I'm sleeping

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Is it not possible to have an honest & open conversation to find out exactly what the deal is first before jumping to conclusions/divorce?
Not when she finds out after the fact.
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