Hi,
Sorry to hear that... You are entitled to half his pension, part of his social security, half of all the marital assets, cash, and 1/2 of the home and if each of you own a car, you get one car. Get a lawyer, a credit card in your name if you don't have one. You may get maintenance if you have to take courses for increasing your job skills. Get an attorney. Photocopy anything and everything.
I am going through a divorce. My wife owns the home with my name not on the title, mortgage, deed what have you. She has a IMRF pension to be paid out in three years. One car in my name, one car in both of our names. and for the last ten years I had been paying for Federal taxes for her because she chose not to pay the IRS. So she would not pay the IRS so i had to take extra Fed taxes and pay them for her out of my check.
We were talking about we using the same lawyer and be amicable, get done cheeply. I told her what I wanted She got very angry that she only makes $28K and I have the potential to make $40K. She thinks I can make more, but I doubt it. I am not employable as a healthcare manager at $80K. I am so industry specific. Anyway... She is angry at me, all i know if things were reversed she would do the same...
I am requesting that I:
1. I Keep the Subaru titled in both our names. 2. She keeps the Ford that is only in my name and attempts to get a loan to make sure I get the Subaru. 3. I get 1/3 of furniture and cooking,dishes stuff, 4. I get $13K of our equity in the home, and somehow, 5. I get a portion of her IMRF teacher pension. Amd the usally split bed sets and furniture etc.
She is angry, I told her I can request this, but doesn't mean I will get it. My lawyer advice 1/2 hour consultation for $25.00 told me this. She is pissed that she doesn't make enough money for living in Chicago and its suburbs. Neither can I, but somehow I can make it work.
It is up to the judge to decide. I could get the Subaru, or the judge will decide who gets the Ford or Subaru. the judge will decide whether I get a portion of her pension. As for a house that she purchased six months before we married in her name. It is 50/50 if I get $13K of the house equity; however if a spouse who is not on the title and or the mortgage could get their share of the equity of the home due to this, The spouse put sweat equity in doing a few repairs, doing yard work and cleaning regularly, plus if both parties co-mingled funds together that paid the mortgage you should be entitled to some equity. It is called transmutation of assets. For Sh*t's and giggles, I am requesting to potentially get reimbursed for paying her Fed taxes from my pay check. The Fed tax reimbursent may be a crap shoot.
All I can do if we use the same lawyer and we can discuss this and come to an agreement, or I refute the distribution that her lawyer disagrees with of what I want. I will have to pay a lawyer for advice to learn how to get what I want or tell me if this is feasible. Her lawyer could tell me something true or untruthful which I will need to verify. I don't have money for a lawyer so I need to do it my self.
What do you think of my wife getting $3K for the divorce from her daughter, her son, her son's live in girlfriend, and three brothers. Each has to chip in $500.00. That I think is o.k. None of my business, but I do know by her accepting the money, she is setting up the preponderance if she regrets the decision, she will know that her entire family got involved in a serious matter by invoking themselves in another's marriage. In my book that is taboo just like cheating, beating up a child, a pet, and spouse beating. You don't have family to help pay, or give advice, or take sides. Very taboo. If you can't afford it, you save the money... No handouts ever. AM I BEING TOO STRICT IN THIS THINKING?
A final note, If you think it's over, or counseling will not work o.k. move on. If it is completely dead all the prayer, counseling, or romance plus flowers will not bring that loving feeling back. I had a rough ten years with my wife. When I woke up one morning feeling naked and ashamed being emotionally intimately close with her I knew it was over. Just picture how Adam and Eve felt between each other and before got by eating that apple. The feeling as being one (in sync) with each other, the Lord, and the land, then losing it. That is how I felt. It can't be fixed. Sad in away.
Good luck, There is growth and opportunity. If you are lower to mid-fifties you have a lot of hot, hot, loving times, relationships to have, even fall in love again.. be optimistic. Be with friends, volunteer, exercise, and take care of yourself, do something for yourself you have been wanting to do and cross it off the bucket list. Mine is to visit Paris and live a few months there and even hang out in Provence France. Will I get there,? I hope...