Re: Temporary Separation
You may get differing advice here, but my personal opinion is that separations, of any length of time, do not work.
Well, they work in the sense that if anything, they tend to solidify the idea that you can and should live apart. So, if your goal is to heal this relationship, I would not suggest separating. If your goal is to work on yourself and let the relationship go if need be, then I would suggest separation, if only so that you can focus more on yourself.
Maybe others feel differently or have had a different experience.
Forgive me, but it doesn't really sound like you love him. You're not doing the same activities you once did with him, so there's not much to bond over. You're very unhappy with the way he eats. I can understand as I once dated a man that did not care about his weight but it was just the way he wanted to live his life.
I'm sorry about the loss of your daughter and it's understandable that such an event is going to take a toll on the state of your relationship. There is a lot of unresolved hurt I bet... Did the two of you feel that you could communicate your sorrows to each other and find comfort in each other over the mutual loss?
It's good that you recognize your part in the breakdown of the relationship. Your Husband isn't here so we can't hear his side. Why do you feel the need to control his eating? Does it upset you because you are more worried that you will make a lapse in your own good eating habits?
He is a grown man and can make his own eating choices. What you do in response to his actions is your choice. In other words, I'm saying that you only really have control over your own actions and no one else's. By assuming control and forcibly restricting his food choices, you are sending a threatening message, so don't be surprised if he purposely does something to go against your wishes.
Putting his own eating issues to one side, do you feel that you are doing all you can to manage your own eating disorder, anxiety, and depression?
It is very difficult to repair the cracks in a relationship when either side has individual work to focus on. You must each work on your own, individual issues before thinking that you can repair the relationship. The relationship, after all, is just a combination of two people, in their present states of mind & body. Each side has to be healed, strong, and ready to come together again or you'll be stuck in the same place you have been before.
"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."
~ Abraham Maslow