Feeling like this is coming to an end
She's setting new rules that don't include you. She's setting the terms of your marriage
Personally, I think only a fool would accept those terms. Or someone who wants to have a separate life too, with secret relationships.
The trajectory might be toward an open marriage.
I wouldn't dump her - your job isn't to run away when you don't like something, it's to talk, communicate, and if that doesn't resolve the issue, establish and communicate clear boundaries.
By that I mean telling her why this doesn't work for you. Tell her what you told us - she is establishing a separate secret life. Let her know that one quality you require is transparency, respect and consideration. Her acts are not transparent, show a lack of respect, and don't even consider your feelings or views.
When (not if) she throws a hissy fit and says that's controlling it's critically important that you do not back down and do not lose your cool. This could be a massive shvt test before you get married and she may want you to put your foot down. Be a man and don't get angry. Say "it's my requirement for a wife. It's not controlling at all - you are free to do what you want." And leave it at that.
Let her think about it but do not give any ground.
Most women like a man of conviction even if it results in them being boxed in a little. They may not immediately show it, but it demonstrates self respect, standards, an even head, and in this case - it demonstrates that you care and demand yo be part her life.
The best case scenario is that she thinks about things and realizes she's hanging around with people who are not friends of your marriage. Worst case is this is who she wants to be and it doesn't really involve you.
Btw you should decide if these people should no longer be part of your circle. If they party with her and without you then I would not think they are a "marriage friendly couple. It is absolutely important to only get involved with people who respect your relationship
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