Need Advice-Finances and Unrealistic Expectations
So, I will spare you the long story. My wife and I had another fight tonight, and she actually told our son that we were getting divorced because I could not handle him. The backstory is that my son and I have been clashing a lot lately. He talks back, argues with me, disrespects me, etc. I have been under a lot of stress from work and also have not been sleeping well. So I have lost my temper with him many times. He pushes all of the wrong buttons. But I take responsibility for it. I just can't cope with his behavior.
There is a lot more to my relationship with my wife that I won't get into here. But it has gotten pretty bad and she has thrown around the divorce word for quite some time. Tonight she told my son that, and then she told both my kids in front of me that she didn't love me anymore. After the kids went to bed, I tried to start a conversation, but it didn't go well and she continued suggesting we get divorced.
One of the things she said really upset me and I wanted to see if there is any validity to what she said. She basically said that she expects me to move out of our large house. I will have to go and get an apartment somewhere and foot the bill for that. Meanwhile, she gets to stay in the large, expensive family home (she mentioned getting a roommate because she wouldn't be able to afford it). So, I was thinking that the equitable thing to do would be to sell the house and split the equity, and then we could each buy new houses (although smaller and less expensive). Is there anyway she can get the family home and all of the equity in it? We also have a rental house that she owned before the marriage (although it was in her parents' name), and they put it in our name a couple of years after we got married. I have paid money towards that house during the course of our marriage, but I would never fight her on that and would just give that to her. But is it reasonable for her to expect the family house and all the equity that is in it? It seems to me the reasonable (and decent thing) to do would be sell the house and divide the equity so we could both get back on our feet somewhere else.
She is really talking nonsense right now, and I guess I should take everything with a grain of salt. But the fact that she said what she did in front of our kids: (1) hurts me really, really deeply; (2) shows where her head is and I think shows how she would treat me if this all goes down; and (3) scares the daylights out of me.
Anyone have any thoughts about what she said? I am not interested in hearing advice about reconciliation. I will make efforts in that respect, but I really just want to know what my options are at this point.