Thank you to the posters who have taken me at my word. I'm really flabbergasted at the idea of my husband being malicious about this. He's the sweetest man I've ever known. We have been married almost 3 years but we have known one another for 6 years. We were good friends before we dated.
As far as this just popping up out of nowhere. No of course not. As I said my conversation of coming out as Bi was surrounded by lots of conversations about LGBTQ stuff between us. Him admitting at least a small attraction to men initially. My husband has a porn addiction that he has been working on. (filters, accountability stuff, off and on counseling). This started when he was a teen. He very breifly as a teen watched hetero porn but its been strictly homo porn for a long time. He's been working pretty hard to beat that addiction. He's honest with me when he messes up or needs me to fix a loophole on his phone or computer. So no the idea that he's attracted to men wasn't a surprise. What has flat out knocked the wind out of me is the idea that he would ever want to leave our marriage so that he could experience a relationship with a man.
I can't imagine having an open marriage. I'm just not built for it. It would not be healthy.
I'm unsure why he thinks he might be gay since he admits he enjoys sex with me. I honestly think he's bisexual with just a heavy lean towards men, but that's for him to figure out.
For me I'm more than happy and satisfied to stay with him and never experience a relationship with a woman. He's trying to decide if he can make that commitment to me now that he's being honest with himself about his sexuality.
We are setting up counseling. I have an appointment tomorrow actually and after I see the counselor and I let him know what her take on LGBTQ issues is he may see the same counselor. (he doesn't want a Christian counselor or someone who would be biased against him, totally understandable.)
I'm unsure how to quote people but one of the posters mentioned the stereo types about men and women and that really made sense to me. Thank you for that. I've been trying to wrap my head around why it's so much harder for him to decide than it was for me, but that really made sense to me.
Oh and idk why someone would think our sex life would have had to suffer for him to be Bi and lean towards men. Our sex life has been great. We are both HD but he's quite a bit higher than me.
Anyway thanks for the encouragement. I'm leaning towards not doing a separation but I'm still really unsure how I should be reacting to all of this. We aren't having sex right now. I'm really hurting and feel super disconnected.
I never thought this might be a reality in our relationship. We are so amazing together. Our communication is top notch! We are super supportive of one another. We get along. Our sex life is amazing. I just never saw this coming.