Re: Need Advice on reconnecting with Wife
CM, no doubt you have a tough road ahead of you.
I want to caution you as you begin to revive your marriage. One of the single largest problems in this process is that the one who was taken for granted has a tendency to overcompensate by doing things that are not for the benefit of the marriage, and are driven by resentment.
While that is understandable to a degree, it doesn't make it acceptable. Your trick is going to be finding a way to walk that fine line between being remorseful and still enforcing boundaries.
When this happens, you are going to have to be able to firmly, without any anger, tell her that her actions are unacceptable.
Resentment will cause her to justify her actions by how you treated her at one time. Do not allow it.
If you do not enforce boundaries during this process, you will have essentially saved a marriage that wasn't worth saving. You need to take the approach that you are going to either revive a healthy marriage, or take a dying one off life support.
I would suggest that you read a book called Hold On To Your N.U.T.'s by Wayne Levine.
Good luck, and keep posting.
"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.
"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley