May I ask, how do you feel about this decision? It appears that your H has decided he is not attracted to you anymore and therefore you should part ways, though you both enjoy each others company, do things together, there is no animosity, etc. How do you feel about all of this?
Even you name says that you give in without a fight, is this what you wanted too, or did you just simply give in to your H?
You know sometimes people don't know what they want. There are many marriages in a worse state than yours, yet love can be revived.
I get the feeling that you two will go ahead with this and realise that you both made a mistake and that in fact 'far away fields are not really green.' just wondering.
I am fine with the decision, despite my username (which was just something I came up with when my first few choices were already taken).
We have both been unhappy for a while - but for different reasons. When the idea of divorce came up a few years ago, the ONLY reason I said no at the time was finances - I just knew I COULDN'T make it on my own salary, even with child support. Had I been in a better place financially, we'd already be divorced a couple years at this point.
The fact is, that while he is not happy with me, I'm not happy with him either. I can't speak for all of HIS reasons (aside from knowing he doesn't like the weight gain after I had kids that I was never able to lose), but for me, I have issues with:
1) his lack of engagement with the kids (I know this won't necessarily change once we divorce, but at least the kids won't be exposed to it every day, like they are now).
2) his impatience - he's not violent in *any* way, but he is not a patient man and can get annoyed over the smallest thing very easily, which results in a snide attitude along with rude comments. And rather than letting it go, he'll harp on it for days. Not a fun thing to be around day in and day out.
3) his lack of Christian faith - I grew up in a Christian household, and am a Christian myself. He was not religious when we got married, but did claim to have a conversion experience a few years after we got married. But it is clear now he was only going through the motions at the time. And while I'm not super-religious, I do go to church and am active in a ladies Bible study, and wish that my husband would lead the household as a man of faith. But he recently told me that while he believes in God, he doesn't care much about the rest. He doesn't begrudge me my spiritual life (or my decision to take the kids to church), but he won't actively participate himself.
That's just three I can think of right now, but I know there are more. He's a good man in many ways, and I know he'll make someone else very happy someday. But after all this time, it just isn't ME. He doesn't make me happy. And while I do not believe other people have a *responsibility* to make me happy, I do think other people can naturally create happiness just by being around. My kids, for example, bring me GREAT happiness and joy. I love being around them and being involved in their lives and helping them become happy, kind, well-adjusted, responsible and caring people. My husband does not.
So yes, I am a ResignedWife, but I still must stress that it was a MUTUAL decision.