I'm not really sure what happened but something in my mind just clicked. For the first time, I realized that I was no longer afraid of my wife. Something in my brain just decided at that moment that she was a bully. I know how to handle bullies. I stood up to her in a different way this time. I told her I was NOT afraid of what she would do to me physically because every time she's slapped me, pulled my hair, punched me, pinched me, or scratched me it has never hurt very bad. It's not like getting in a fight with a man, she simply couldn't hurt me physically. I told her I was NOT afraid of her put downs about how useless and unworthy of her I am, and that it no longer hurt me when she told me she doesn't love me, or that she hates me, or that she wishes I would die. I told her I was NOT afraid of her threats to harm our daughter when I'm at work. I told her I was NOT afraid that she would make up a false statements of abuse to her family or to the police. I told her that whatever happens, I would fight for custody of our child and I'm NOT afraid to risk everything for that kid. She then went about her usual business of doing all those things I told her I was no longer afraid of. The screaming, the hitting and scratching, the crying and blaming me for making her so angry. But unlike our nearly bi-weekly fights, this one was different because I was finally unafraid.
Well, that and I got the whole video of our final fight on my iPhone.
Word to the wise fellas, get it on video.