We are separated now but back story.
H is his mothers only child, she had him when she was 35 ( back in the 60's that was old to be be having a baby). Mother in law
had a crappy childhood and married pretty much to get out of the house. H's bio dad worked alot and traveled alot for work.
Parents divorced when he was 4. He ( who has a bad memory) tells me about fights his parents had and what a jerk his bio was to his mom.
She remarried a year later. Her second husband did everything for her.
So H and I got married ( he was married previously as was I) she would make comments that she didn't want H to come to my family's for Christmas.
Things haven't always been perfect with H and I but omg to listen to him it sounds like I was just constantly mean to him.
About 6 years ago he had a "friendship" no sex though with a woman he worked with because I was not meeting his needs.
I busted them, it ended we moved on and tried to make it work. Good periods, bad periods.
So 2 Christmas' ago I decided not to go to his parents on Christmas eve. My family was coming here for Christmas day and i wanted to get the house cleaned and so on.
Mother in law got po'd at me and told H that I supposedly said horrible mean things to her and her husband.
A few months later H started acting aloof again and told me he was not happy. About a year ago I flat out asked him and he said he was going to wait until my son turned 18.
So his stepdad got sick in July, early August they found out it was cancer. H ( who was conveniently laid off right at this time) was driving to treatments, taking mom to get her nails done and so on. I had a feeling that he would be moving in with his mom after stepdad died. Yet, H was making comments that we could try again. Stepdad died end of Sept.
H tells me he wasn't moving in with mom right away. I just got so sick of the emotional roller coaster that on Thanksgiving we had a blow up and I told him to stay there.
Oh let me tell you I haven't spoken to his mom since Christmas 2 years ago and I was told that I would not be welcome at the funeral so I didn't go. This is now being thrown up in my face from H that I didn't support him..
Mother in law gives H anything he wants and it's always bothered me because he's irresponsible with money and quits easily.
I must be crazy but I don't want a divorce. I don't want the marriage the way it was but i don't want a divorce.
He did tell me two days ago that he's not happy there but he's stuck because she can't do anything for herself and hes responsible for her.
Let me add, she is loaded she could hire someone to help out.
Am I totally screwed here?
H is his mothers only child, she had him when she was 35 ( back in the 60's that was old to be be having a baby). Mother in law
had a crappy childhood and married pretty much to get out of the house. H's bio dad worked alot and traveled alot for work.
Parents divorced when he was 4. He ( who has a bad memory) tells me about fights his parents had and what a jerk his bio was to his mom.
She remarried a year later. Her second husband did everything for her.
So H and I got married ( he was married previously as was I) she would make comments that she didn't want H to come to my family's for Christmas.
Things haven't always been perfect with H and I but omg to listen to him it sounds like I was just constantly mean to him.
About 6 years ago he had a "friendship" no sex though with a woman he worked with because I was not meeting his needs.
I busted them, it ended we moved on and tried to make it work. Good periods, bad periods.
So 2 Christmas' ago I decided not to go to his parents on Christmas eve. My family was coming here for Christmas day and i wanted to get the house cleaned and so on.
Mother in law got po'd at me and told H that I supposedly said horrible mean things to her and her husband.
A few months later H started acting aloof again and told me he was not happy. About a year ago I flat out asked him and he said he was going to wait until my son turned 18.
So his stepdad got sick in July, early August they found out it was cancer. H ( who was conveniently laid off right at this time) was driving to treatments, taking mom to get her nails done and so on. I had a feeling that he would be moving in with his mom after stepdad died. Yet, H was making comments that we could try again. Stepdad died end of Sept.
H tells me he wasn't moving in with mom right away. I just got so sick of the emotional roller coaster that on Thanksgiving we had a blow up and I told him to stay there.
Oh let me tell you I haven't spoken to his mom since Christmas 2 years ago and I was told that I would not be welcome at the funeral so I didn't go. This is now being thrown up in my face from H that I didn't support him..
Mother in law gives H anything he wants and it's always bothered me because he's irresponsible with money and quits easily.
I must be crazy but I don't want a divorce. I don't want the marriage the way it was but i don't want a divorce.
He did tell me two days ago that he's not happy there but he's stuck because she can't do anything for herself and hes responsible for her.
Let me add, she is loaded she could hire someone to help out.
Am I totally screwed here?