Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Re: Im new in need of advice plz
Having kids and a wife with money problems not being able to provide a nice home for the family, will cause a lot of stress and often ends a marriage. Women cheat for emotional reasons and if you shut her off, no matter why, she will look for what she is not getting from you from other guys. Women also will cheat to find a better provider for them and their children. Not enough money is a big cause of bad marriages. Trust like love, once lost is very difficult to obtain again. It can take a very long time to regain trust and even then, it will never be the same as before. You will probably be suspicious of your wife for many years to come if you stay married. What she did will surface in every major argument.
It seems like you made a few bad life choices that are now biting you in the butt. I hate to be negative, but your wife has already shown that she is not the come hell and high water loyal kind of wife. Even if you do not divorce, the way she handles marital problems will still exist and will likely reoccur. Add your other problems to the mix and you have a real mess on your hands. Maybe a divorce might be the best path or perhaps a trial separation can help. It sounds like there is too much water under the bridge to provide a healthy marriage moving forward. Your income is still going to be a source of problems and stress. Your wife has pretty much fallen out of love with you judging by her actions. Does not look good and trying to keep someone who does not want you, rarely results in more than a few more months together. Good luck but the decision is yours to make.
Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.