I've noticed that with my friends who got married fast and started families quickly that they come to this place that they are still young, but have a life of an older adult. It's almost like a mid life crisis because you hit so many milestones in such a short time while your so young you think... is this it?
Sorry that wasn't much help. You have a lot of soul searching to do. Maybe your just bored and need a little lifestyle change or something to get you motivated and excited about life again.
Divorce is hard especially with kids. Can you imagine splitting holidays and child sharing. That will be your life for a long time.
I appreciate the honesty here. We did marry quickly. We were pregnant after a year of dating, and married soon after our daughter was born. We bought our home asap, and had our son 17 months after our first baby. It all happened so quickly; I hardly knew what hit me!
I love how you mentioned soul searching; because the truth is.. that's what i have been doing! These starts have been going on for at least 2 years. Things get better when I tell him I'm unhappy... but it always falls back into old pattern. Last year, I decided that it must be ME that's unhappy; because I have everything most people desire in life... so I started a journey of self love, meditation, spiritual freedom and body acceptance. It has been amazing and I've had to swallow a few difficult pills; but I'm growing and loving myself more and more. I am no longer angry at my husband; I understand that this is just who he is and that that's okay. The more I dig... the more I wonder if we're just not meant to be lovers..
It pains me to think of hurting him. He's not a bad man.. he's never intentionally hurt me, and he's always sincere in wanting to make our marriage work. I don't want him to change who he is in order to keep me fulfilled... that's not fair to him. He deserves someone who will love him as he is.
I don't think that you're expecting too much. However, be sure that you spouse knows how unhappy you are.
Thank you.. I don't feel I'm expecting too much either; but I've had a few people (including my H) say, "this is what most peoples' marriages look like! this is normal life!" And I can't help but thinking...... maybe I'm different than "normal" people.. ?? I mean, I don't think I am, but.. i think just our personalities and outlooks are different. Where he says, "yeah, this is good enough", I say, "there must be something more"...
So, I'm not too sure. My H is a bit .. hm.. I dont know the word lol. He doesn't ever SEE me unhappy.. I have to tell him. And he becomes mroe attentive for a bit.. but than it falls back again, and I find it becomes a pattern of my having to keep saying, "I'm unhappy again... I'm unhappy again... I'm unhappy again" which totally sucks and makes me feel needy and ****ty.
I'm trying to be happy ANYWAY; without him having to attend to my needs; and for the most part, I AM. but, that means I could miss out on a greater love; and I'd rather have the possibility, than admit defeat.
I say all this so easily here; but to his face, I shrivel up and am wrecked with guilt. It's so hard to hurt someone who loves you the best they can.