Originally Posted by Lifeiscomplicated View Post
I believe that the ‘Grass can be Greener’ for some people who choose to leave their relationships and not such the case for others and it all boils down to luck. I know some women who marriages ended in their late 20’s, 30’s and early 40’s and are still single years later. Some are childless because they couldn’t find a suitable partner to settle down with. The same goes for my single girlfriends who have never married and are now in their late 40’s who also cannot find anyone suitable to share their lives with. All these women are incredibly attractive with great personalities and their standards I don’t feel are too high. Then I know other women meeting “Mr Right” soon after separating or divorcing.
I know that I found it very difficult in my 20’s to find a decent man let alone now at age 50 and I would love to meet someone again if I was to divorce but what are my chances of meeting that special person especially if I have kids and on limited funds. For me that is a huge risk to take and I don’t know if I could take that chance and get lucky or risk spending the rest of my life alone.
What I would like to see is how long a lot of these new relationships will last beyond the initial 3 to 4 years once the honeymoon phase is over because you see so many getting engaged, remarried or moving in with one another within a year of meeting. I bet you a lot of these sexual incompatibility problems that ended their last marriages will happened again in their new marriages later down the track due to complacency, aging, hormones, illness etc.
Saying that the ‘Grass is Greener’ to people contemplating on leaving their marriage is wrong because not everyone is going to go on and find their ‘soul mate’. It will depend on whether you still have dependent children living with you. If you are financially stable. Better chances of finding someone when you are younger, however, it will be much harder for older people in their late 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and upwards to find a suitable partner. Again, I know quite a few people who have lost their partners and would love to have the companionship of another person but cannot find anyone who is interested in them and not their money.
Again, I think it is also harder for the older single woman to find a decent guy close to her age because unfortunately a lot of older men prefer to go out with younger women even if they don’t want to have any more children, again which leaves the availability of 2:1 ratio for every single middle aged man mid 40’s and above who chooses to date an older women or a woman their own age.
This post is right on the mark.
A lot depends on luck.
A lot depends on wide exposure. Belonging to many organizations and involved in many activities. Activities that men are participating in. Net working these activities help. Letting others be matchmakers helps.
A lot depends on "Being fun to be with". Keeping the sour puss, locked up. Or turn the frown upside down...huh? No, turn it 180! Corners pointing up at a glance in the mirror.
Why do a lot of men want to go out with younger women? The chances are better that they are more active, less set in their ways. And, less dour. Less business like. More spontaneous. And they think that younger women will enjoy sex more. No more duty sex. Is this true? Not necessarilly. Any age man or women can be a Fogey. Or worse, a Curmudgeon.
Be a light hearted friendly soul. Smile a lot, even in the face of pain. This is hard to do. Easier to do when dating......when you stomach turns sour. You go home to Mr. Bromo Seltzer and drink his fizz.
When men ask about your interests, tell then that you like to be active, like to do outdoor activities, you like sports, travel, hand holding....intimacy if the right guy arrives. This may be a White Lie, but bend a little to gain a lot.
Make the man feel good about himself. They are so easily pleased.