Thanks for the replies. I know that the logical thing to do is to end the marriage, which I've told her is what will happen if things don't drastically change.
I'm pretty certain she is not physically cheating on me with anyone but I would say she is definitely emotionally cheating on me with every guy she finds more attractive then me. Whether it is a random guy at a store, guy on tv, etc she always obsesses on how she could've had a guy like that but is stuck with me.
I know divorce is probably the answer but it's just hard knowing that it's just this one thing in her mind that is eating away at her and ultimately ruining the marriage.
I stopped reading when I got to this post of yours. So lets recap.
(1) she blatantly tells you all her ex boyfriends were "hunks" and she is not sexually attracted to you
(2) you are close to living like a "monk"
(3) she openly flirts in front of you with other men. What do you think she is doing when you are not around.???
And you are 100% SURE she is not involved with another man. ??? i would not bet my 401K on that if I were you unless she is has a huge supply of sex toys that she is regularly using.
And eventually she is going to flirt with someone that she will meet up with. Understand something, if you do some reading, one of the main red flags for a woman in an affair is stopping sex with her husband.
Data, you have a wife who is being about as disrespectful as it gets, telling you how she could do better. She openly flirts with other men in front of you, and at the same time is denying you what is a mans primary need in a relationship, which is SEX.
Id suggest you get in somewhat of a detective mode without telling her and stop making assumptions about what she is or is not doing. there have been many before you than were SURE there wife was not cheating for the same reasons you are stating. it is time you find out for sure because I am guessing you do not want to live like this forever.