Originally Posted by Not sure anymore View Post
I did look into everything I could to see if there was someone else and never have found anything. Sometimes I wish I would have.
I totally know the feeling of "wishing" you had found something the other had done wrong. I feel like way a lot, too, about my relationship, but that's just because I hate being "the bad guy"... if he would do something wrong that I would have a great excuse
to leave, guilt free, and everyone would be on my side.
But; that's not the truth and not what we NEED. That's victimizing ourselves, which is not empowering, and is not teaching us anything. While on this journey; whether you stay or leave, you need to start looking at yourself too. There's a reason that you are not happy, and it may not be entirely HIS fault. We all bring things to the table; and if you want any chance of making this, or a future relationship work, you have to be willing to go inside and check yourself. It's easy to blame, but no one is perfect, and i know for a fact, there are things you're doing that are not helping the situation.
I've been reading a book called "Warrior Goddess Training" by Heatherash Amara; and it touches on being your own source of love and empowerment. Forgiveness will set you free, and it's not about what others do, it's about how you react to what others do. When we have unripened emotions or traumas, they will continue to resurface until we choose to acknowledge and deal with them.
It's an empowering book, and I suggest all women read it. It allows us to come out of that victim role, and be strong in our decisions and needs and to stop feeling so guilty about setting boundaries and wanting our needs met.
It may be a great book for you to read!