Married after 90 days, now 12 years later big problems

harlisondavidly · 12-28-2011, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by accept

She certainly wants you. I dont know what kind of language you speak, but for a start you both have to STOP using bad language. You have to force this on her. I dont think you will find it too hard.

I've not used the same kind of vulgar words to communicate with her. I keep asking her to please have some self respect and stop using that kind of language. In the 18 months that she has been verbally abusive I probably have lost my cool to the point of letting a four letter word slip maybe twice. But it's rare.

It's been a few days now since she has done this. My latest disagreement with her is about taking the kids to see my parents about 2 hours away. Summer of 2010 my wife wrote a very nasty letter to a lady friend of mine because she was upset that we were still friends against her wishes. This lady friend of mine contacted my parents and shared the contents of the letter with them as she felt threatened by it. My dad contacted my wife and confronted her about it. Since then my wife says that my dad stabbed her in the back and she wants nothing to do with him. So she refuses to let me take the kids to visit. My therapist told me to take the kids and go there anyway regardless of what my wife thinks or what she will do.

harlisondavidly · 12-28-2011, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by accept

I dont know if you read my previous post. You have to start somewhere. I gave an example which should not be too difficult. Youre not going to cure her in a day.

Next opportunity that I have, I will try your suggestion. I think my mistake has been to not go that extra step. While I don't reply in kind, I do stick around to listen to her. That will stop.