Do you have siblings? It sounds like you are describing a brother sister relationship. If you do end it, end it cleanly. Never contact him again. My ex fiancé did not. Finally after several months I ask her not to call me again, ever. That I loved her, wanted a wife and every time she called it set me back, hoping she would come back. Hardest thing I ever did. She honored my advised.
You are in the begining phase of becoming a WAW and stand a good chance of winding up as an other woman. Don't say no way. My guess is 70 percent of spouces (regardless of gender) will engage in an EA or PA. At a guess you want to let your bad girl out a little, but your husband finds responding to it as in his mind it is disrespectful to treat a wife like this.
Funny I don't see and desire to "let your bad girl out". That seems to be a common assumption by some men on TAM here - understandably so with the number of people here due to infidelity.
However I think the women who do that are often NOT seeking sex per se - I think they're trying to shake their former lives which they blame (wrongly many times) for their unhappiness. So they do the George Castaneda move and act opposite of how they have acted in the past. The "wild woman" role may seem attractive as someone who can make men drop at their feet and admire them. (Of course some do like the sex).
Here I see a person who simply realizes there should be passion in her life and she looks at the guy she chose and can not see it happening. Passion isn't the same thing as sex. It's engagement of the brain and senses.
Anyway OP if you're not completely gone you might offer some reading for your H - TAM typically has some books to read for "nice guys" to grow a pair and many TAM men say it changes their attitudes and lives. I'll leave it to others to recommend them as I haven't read them and am not a nice guy
For you there is a book called "Passionate Marriage" by David Schnarch. It's a heavy read but you seem up to the task. Since you appear introspective it might be something you would enjoy reading to gain a different perspective. I'm carrying around a dog-earred copy but have only gotten 1/3 through.
It's been a while since I read your thread so sorry I forgot the responses so far - if my comments aren't appropriate based on the trajectory of this thread, ignore.
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