28 years of beautiful lies - Page 10 - Talk About Marriage
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post #136 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 02:27 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

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Originally Posted by SuperConfusedHusband View Post
This is important:


It's only been 3 months so I guess there is still lot to process emotionally, but yes he will not look out for you anymore, sorry.
That's a given and has been for quite some time. He is on Me Me Me mode. If he was not a selfish man, he feels he is entitled to being selfish now because it is HIS time now.

Can't you see that his loving wife and marriage bled him dry and only OW could quench his thirst?...gag me!


Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #137 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 04:23 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

He said "I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I must remain true to my feelings"........

I must say---- what a childish, typical, pile of cheater speak bull**** that statement is.
That's translated into normal person as "IDGAF about what my wife or anyone else thinks, I'm headed out to go screw my ex gf because what I want to do is more important than 28 years of marriage. My wife will take me back if my AP turns out to be a ***** because I know she loves me and is not as big of an ******* as I am."

I'll bet next month's salary that this guy and his AP will crash and burn when the new wears off and he finds out how she really is.

OP, you should not play plan b for this guy or he will see that he's got you in his pocket no matter what he does, and he WILL take advantage of your love.

Get angry and poocan thischeating jerk.
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post #138 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 09:19 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

I seriously doubt that he will see the light that soon. He is too deep in the fog and OW is stroking his ego big time. That is not going anywhere anytime soon. Maybe in a few years like 3-5.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #139 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 08:40 AM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

I would suggest that you be the one to file. The Petitioner obviously determines what goes in the document (although the Respondent can modify it if he wishes -- many don't bother though when they have someone waiting in the wings).

Ending a long marriage is tough (mine ended after 45 years). It's okay to still love someone as long as you're realistic and recognize that you need to go forward without them. It does get better with time but there's often a lot of temporary back-sliding along the way. Just keep telling yourself you'll get through it and be okay because you will.
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post #140 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

Hello everyone,

I just want to bounce this off of you and get some opinions. I am planning a trip with my kids up N for a family function and from there to NYC to take my kids to see family and the city. I get a call from my H and he is like I was thinking I could meet up with you n the kids and go to the family function and to NYC with you guys. Mind you this is on the heals of him supposedly coming to visit last week and visit the kids and help me finish some things with the house. Which btw he did not make and gave the reason that he had to work this weekend and would not be able to spend a full week. I just don't understand what this man thinks, he lets my kids down by saying he cant make it because he would only have less than a week with them and now he wants to come where we are going to be to tag along. I know my kids want to see their father and I don't want to be a total ***** but I just cant get past the b***s on this guy. If you are familiar with my story please share what you think.

Thanks,
28years
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post #141 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:30 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

I would tell him NOPE, **** off.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.


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post #142 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 03:14 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

Are you staying with family and/or friends? Or will you be in hotels? Where would he stay?


I would be very tempted to not tell him no. Or just ignore his request to tag along.

Does he tell you when he is going to miss a visit with his children? Or does he just no show up?

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post #143 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 03:47 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

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Originally Posted by 28years View Post
Hello everyone,

I just want to bounce this off of you and get some opinions. I am planning a trip with my kids up N for a family function and from there to NYC to take my kids to see family and the city. I get a call from my H and he is like I was thinking I could meet up with you n the kids and go to the family function and to NYC with you guys. Mind you this is on the heals of him supposedly coming to visit last week and visit the kids and help me finish some things with the house. Which btw he did not make and gave the reason that he had to work this weekend and would not be able to spend a full week. I just don't understand what this man thinks, he lets my kids down by saying he cant make it because he would only have less than a week with them and now he wants to come where we are going to be to tag along. I know my kids want to see their father and I don't want to be a total ***** but I just cant get past the b***s on this guy. If you are familiar with my story please share what you think.

Thanks,
28years
Why does he get to go on a trip for YOU and YOUR kids that is planned by you for your kids? He chose not to be a part of this new family he threw away didn't he?

He is used to getting what he wants isn't he? He is hell bent on cake eating regardless of what others may need or want!

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #144 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 03:51 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

No need to be rude or flippant, just say no because he said no originally and you made plans accordingly.
If he actually wants to go, next time he can commit from the start.

He can always find something to do with the kids on his own. He's a grown arse man.
Go have a nice time with your kids.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #145 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 04:08 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

Tell him no.

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post #146 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 05:15 PM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

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... I get a call from my H and he is like, "I was thinking I could meet up with you n the kids and go to the family function and to NYC with you guys."
"You said no originally and we made plans based on your choice, so that will not work for us. Please enjoy your own plans with the kids. Bye!"


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post #147 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 09:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

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Originally Posted by Bibi1031 View Post
Why does he get to go on a trip for YOU and YOUR kids that is planned by you for your kids? He chose not to be a part of this new family he threw away didn't he?

He is used to getting what he wants isn't he? He is hell bent on cake eating regardless of what others may need or want!
Bibi,

I don't know this man, the man who I was married to was not this selfish, self absorbed person. He would have looked down in disappointment on a man/woman who would do this to their spouse and children.

Its so disheartening to me,
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post #148 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 09:28 PM Thread Starter
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

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Are you staying with family and/or friends? Or will you be in hotels? Where would he stay?


I would be very tempted to not tell him no. Or just ignore his request to tag along.

Does he tell you when he is going to miss a visit with his children? Or does he just no show up?
Elegirl,

We will be staying in a hotel for the family function and with family in NYC. He is welcome to come to the family function because it is his family. Same in NYC we are visiting his family, but they are my family after 28 years of being with them its the way it is I love them. He just did not show when he said he would. Imagine our kids told me how's daddy gonna only spend one week with us when he's been spending all his time with this stranger and her family. They are hurt and insulted that's the problem with teens and young adults they base their ideas off your actions. I am sorry our kids have to experience this pain, I know how it feels my father did the same thing to me the only difference is I will make sure they get therapy so they can work through this.

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post #149 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 01:39 AM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

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Elegirl,

We will be staying in a hotel for the family function and with family in NYC. He is welcome to come to the family function because it is his family. Same in NYC we are visiting his family, but they are my family after 28 years of being with them its the way it is I love them. He just did not show when he said he would. Imagine our kids told me how's daddy gonna only spend one week with us when he's been spending all his time with this stranger and her family. They are hurt and insulted that's the problem with teens and young adults they base their ideas off your actions. I am sorry our kids have to experience this pain, I know how it feels my father did the same thing to me the only difference is I will make sure they get therapy so they can work through this.

28years
Then I guess he can show if he wants and not show if he wants.

Clearly his children are paying attention. I do feel badly for them.

If he shows, you can ignore him as much as possible.

Just interact with him according to the 180. That's for you, to protect you.

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post #150 of 177 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 01:41 AM
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Re: 28 years of beautiful lies

@28years

I his family aware that he is open having an affair under your nose?

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