Yes the state he lives in is a no fault state and I have been advised to let him file first because I am indigent. He does not want us to go through attorneys because he says they would make us hate one another. He says that he wants to go to mediation with me because he cant stand the thought of never talking with me and that we need to maintain some kind of connection different from the one we had 5 months ago because we have children and one day they'll get married and have grandchildren and we need to be able to share that together. I just think he concerned about providing a life with the new gf , its funny he actually said that we should meet that we would be friends cause we have a lot in common. I think NOT I myself would never do this to another woman.
Please, for the love of God, do NOT LISTEN to your cheating husband. He's made it clear by his actions that his interests lie ONLY with HIMSELF. He does not care about your well-being, no matter what he SAYS.
You need to get a lawyer, take him to court, and get what is fair. I think in this case, since he is claiming that he never loved you (he tricked you into marrying him), that you deserve MORE than an equal portion of assets. And I wouldn't say that very often.
HOWEVER, please don't accept from your despicable, low character husband that he never loved you. I truly don't think that is even in the ballpark of being true. It's possible, but unlikely. He wasn't forced to marry you. He loved you and wanted to marry you. Cheaters can't stand the fact that they have no honor. They have to justify the cheating to THEMSELVES, which is impossible if they admit to themselves that they loved you EVER. It's incredibly, fantastically common for cheaters to say this and it's TOTAL BS. My ex wife told me this. Told me that I always loved her more than she loved me. LOL, I guess that's why for 4 years when I wouldn't ask her to marry me, she literally begged me to marry her.
DOn't listen to your self-serving soon-to-be-ex husband (I hope, for your sake).
Get a lawyer, get what you deserve in this divorce. I believe everything he suggests you do and sign will be for his benefit, not yours. It's not like he hasn't shown you that you don't matter to him.
Betrayed DAD has it exactly correct: He always had interest in his ex gf. He contacted her or she contacted him, they both still had feelings, he developed this fantasy in his head, and decided to divorce you.
Based on what happened here with an ex and what you said he told you, I truly don't think you are at fault whatsoever .
I assure you that if you were at fault even a little, his little cheating mind would amplify your faults in the marriage x 1000 so that he could justify his own rotten actions even more.
Hold your head up. Divorce this "man". Move on and find a good, loyal man.
I know giving up the hope that your life will go back to pre-infidelity is hard, acceptance is hard. But that is what you need--- acceptance. ONce you accept this as reallity, you will almost immediately get better and happier.
Praying for you and hoping your pain leaves you as soon as possible.