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Considering Divorce or Separation If you're considering divorce or separation, this is the place to talk.

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post #16 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 11:54 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks. It really not something I thought I would have to do. I really thought we had just lucked out being eachothers firsts for everything. It's not that he is a bad guy just we want two different things in life I guess. I'm nervous and excited my first counseling appt is on Monday.

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post #17 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-23-2017, 11:56 PM Thread Starter
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I don't think it bothers him. It has honestly always been like that. I supported him for about a year when we first moved in til he got a job
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Does it bother him you make more $ than him? I'm 110% serious.

Spell out exactly what you are seeking, dumb it down if you have to. Use pie charts.

This is why I fell in love with you and this is why I am falling out of love with you.

Hurt feelings may and will take place, but if you know where each other stands.... much much easier.
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post #18 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 02:43 AM
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Re: Lost

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I don't think it bothers him. It has honestly always been like that. I supported him for about a year when we first moved in til he got a job
Call me a bit sexist in this but he's a man... he should be doing his part and then some.

What was his relationship like growing up with his mom? Other female figures in his life?

It seems he sees you more as a mother figure and that dropped your attraction for him.

File for D..... if you ever wanted a reaction out of him about the M, LOL I promise you will when he

is served. Serve him while his friends are over gaming. Set up a cam or VAR to get the full

meltdown. To him.... mothers "can't" leave.... a W can. He sees you more as a mother.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #19 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 08:05 AM
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Re: Lost

I want to be an astronaut but I was unable to find a woman willing to support me while I slept all day dreaming about it (I had to sleep all day because I was awake all night playing space games on the internets to train for when I would realise my dream).

If he wont get a job, ANY job, to help with the bills and help you realise any dreams you might have, I know which part of the house Id be showing him to...

Without consequences to his behaviours he wont change, ever.
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post #20 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 12:24 PM Thread Starter
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I don't think it bothers him. It has honestly always been like that. I supported him for about a year when we first moved in til he got a job
Call me a bit sexist in this but he's a man... he should be doing his part and then some.

What was his relationship like growing up with his mom? Other female figures in his life?

It seems he sees you more as a mother figure and that dropped your attraction for him.

File for D..... if you ever wanted a reaction out of him about the M, LOL I promise you will when he

is served. Serve him while his friends are over gaming. Set up a cam or VAR to get the full

meltdown. To him.... mothers "can't" leave.... a W can. He sees you more as a mother.
I feel like his mom sometimes lol and I don't consider myself sexist at all butbi agree most men feel the need to help support their families. I absolutely have no problem working just as hard as he does but I feel like I'm the only thinking about the immediate future, whereas he is thinking about his hobby POSSIBLY bein able to support us years down the road. When I asked him what his plans were if this didnt work out he said become a writer...like there is no real backup goal.
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post #21 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 02:28 PM
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Re: Lost

I don't get it. If this is what he wants to do, why doesn't he start doing things to make money off it now?

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post #22 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 03:02 PM
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Re: Lost

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I don't get it. If this is what he wants to do, why doesn't he start doing things to make money off it now?
He is afraid to try because he is afraid to fail. $100 says a stable male was not in his life as child.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #23 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:18 AM Thread Starter
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I don't get it. If this is what he wants to do, why doesn't he start doing things to make money off it now?
he has started but it costs more to get it started then he profits off of it. He only make 200 off his first one and put close to 1000 into it
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post #24 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 12:19 AM Thread Starter
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I don't get it. If this is what he wants to do, why doesn't he start doing things to make money off it now?
He is afraid to try because he is afraid to fail. $100 says a stable male was not in his life as child.
no he has a very amazing dad. His mother wasn't really in his life but his dad runs his own business and supports his family. Great father and grandfather.
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post #25 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:29 AM
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Re: Lost

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he has started but it costs more to get it started then he profits off of it. He only make 200 off his first one and put close to 1000 into it
What did he sell for $200?


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post #26 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:31 AM
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Re: Lost

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no he has a very amazing dad. His mother wasn't really in his life but his dad runs his own business and supports his family. Great father and grandfather.
How does he get along with his father? Can his father give him any help to leverage is talent into a business?

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post #27 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 01:35 AM
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Re: Lost

Hes an artist and a writer.. right?

There are ways that he can leverage that into work right now such as some of the freelancing platforms that are online. Has he considered doing that?

There are also ways to for him to have his own website where he publishes his own material and sells it online. Ive heard of a lot of writers and artists doing this.

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post #28 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 02:35 AM
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Re: Lost

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no he has a very amazing dad. His mother wasn't really in his life but his dad runs his own business and supports his family. Great father and grandfather.
Somewhat unusual. From what Ele said.... your H is like a few friends I know.

Ele... could you expand a bit on that?

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #29 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:02 AM Thread Starter
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He?s an artist and a writer.. right?

There are ways that he can leverage that into work right now? such as some of the freelancing platforms that are online. Has he considered doing that?

There are also ways to for him to have his own website where he publishes his own material and sells it online. I?ve heard of a lot of writers and artists doing this.
he has started doing stuff online. He only writes he can't draw very good do he has to pay someone to do the art work
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post #30 of 31 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:21 AM
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Re: Lost

I married my "high school sweetheart" but he was across an ocean. We grew up and apart, as simple as that. We divorced after I'd tried just about everything I knew to try and repair our growing differences and resentment (and he dropped a bomb on me). Thing is, I'd changed and grown up and he had a kind of Peter Pan way of life that he enjoyed.

At the time we divorced, I felt like a huge failure. But after healing I realized that temporary relationships are just part of life, even those that seem unbreakable.

While you should know for sure and you clearly want to give it your all, you should not blame yourself or feel like a failure if you do not succeed. It takes effort from both of you. If you're the only one doing that, it won't work.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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