Re: "Let Go if You love Something"
Awesome responses here from everyone yet again. I love seeing both sides of the spectrum and differences in thoughts.
We worked it out even more and during the conversation, after I told her physical abuse will not be tolerated, she acknowledged her wrongs and was admittedly very sorry for her actions. I said it was unacceptable and she agreed. We worked over how we would resolve conflict with one another, what are expectations were, and we each wrote down our individual needs of the relationship.
I had said, I'm willing to put in the work and effort to continue our relationship, only if these things change. If you're not on board with this, then I have no choice but to leave because both of us will end up not happy and dissatisfied. Since this is new stuff for her too, I believe what we talked about ultimately shattered existing paradigms and set the stage for a new dynamic. I've also been doing my own work. (Page 100 of NMMNG). I've been doing the breaking free's and I've also come up with my new set of NUTS that will act as an indefinite boundary of things I need to have self-fulfillment. I've also told her the importance of being able to walk-away from someone. I'm not trying to be a boy-man anymore. My goal is also to be far more direct, apologize less for petty behavior, and stop seeking external validation (not just in the relationship, but in everyday life).
So far, so good with the new plan and both us seem on board with it. I honestly think this is what is missing. When we first met, this is more of who I was. I wasn't someone who did bended to every last wish, I was someone with passion for what I was doing and not seeking any external validation from our relationship. I think over the years as that changed, I changed and she with it. My father recently passed away because of his alcohol addiction (divorced because it too). He was always trying to make everyone else happy, and I'm having an epiphany as I type this, THAT IS WHERE I GOT THIS FROM. He never stood up to move on and become his own man that stood for his core beliefs and values. He always bowed down to my mom and always tried to please her by trying to do everything the "right" way. He always told me, "I could never be right! It was always this or always that!" I am having full realization now that I was not raised properly to become a man in the true sense of the word. I absolutely will not become like him. I saw the end of his life. He was alone, never moved on, had no true core beliefs, tried to please everyone but himself, took care of everyone but himself, and ultimately this method of living failed him. This is a true insight for me.
All that being said, what are other essential concepts I should read into to improve myself?