I grew in a culture and in a family where divorce is not an acceptable solution. And a marriage meant a lifetime commitment.
My parents were married until one of their death and there is not a single divorce in my large extended family.
I had seen how hard marriage was as I was growing up and how much sacrifice it took to stay married for a lifetime.
My parents were soul mates who dated for 8yrs before they married (after their educations were completed) and they were truly partners in life.
I idealized their marriage and was very hesitant to get married, knowing how serious marriage is.
Finally, I married to a man who was already twice divorced. I was 45yrs old when I married for the first time to this man.
We have been married for 4years and have been together for 5 ½ years total. We do not have any children within or outside of our marriage.
I realized that he is self-destructive and is a wrecking ball to others around him. He started taking antidepressant meds few years ago.
After ignoring my pleads to go through intensive therapy treatment, he finally started therapy session this week because he again almost destroyed his career with his reckless rants that others and I warned him about. This time, he even dragged my reputation into his mud. So, this was a lesson for him and he is going to therapy sessions.
His parents have been co-dependent on dramas and dysfunctions. They are absolutely no-help what so ever. In fact, his mother has been a negative force in getting him into psychotherapy. She does not think that therapy is a good solution because according to her, people just find out baseless child abuse incidents from their childhood. – I really think that she is afraid to find out that she was not a good parent and that she may actually had abused him.
Anyway, I had a blow up argument with his parents about meddling in my initiation to getting him into therapy (On this Christmas day). With almost getting fire from his job (yet again in his life), my husband decided to listen to me this time around and he is getting help.
However, I am absolutely exhausted and I just do not love him anymore. He became more of a child to me now than a life partner. He is already 6years younger than I am and with his emotional problems, I feel like his mother and not like his wife.
I want out of this marriage before I waste more of my life with this wrecking ball.
I need to gather up my strength to start a divorce process and to move out of this place.
Please give me any advice /wisdom that you can spare.
How can I break everything that I believe in about marriage and commitment? How do I walk out? How do I start over? How do I not feel like an absolute loser? How do I let my dreams of this relationship die? How do you do it?
My parents were married until one of their death and there is not a single divorce in my large extended family.
I had seen how hard marriage was as I was growing up and how much sacrifice it took to stay married for a lifetime.
My parents were soul mates who dated for 8yrs before they married (after their educations were completed) and they were truly partners in life.
I idealized their marriage and was very hesitant to get married, knowing how serious marriage is.
Finally, I married to a man who was already twice divorced. I was 45yrs old when I married for the first time to this man.
We have been married for 4years and have been together for 5 ½ years total. We do not have any children within or outside of our marriage.
I realized that he is self-destructive and is a wrecking ball to others around him. He started taking antidepressant meds few years ago.
After ignoring my pleads to go through intensive therapy treatment, he finally started therapy session this week because he again almost destroyed his career with his reckless rants that others and I warned him about. This time, he even dragged my reputation into his mud. So, this was a lesson for him and he is going to therapy sessions.
His parents have been co-dependent on dramas and dysfunctions. They are absolutely no-help what so ever. In fact, his mother has been a negative force in getting him into psychotherapy. She does not think that therapy is a good solution because according to her, people just find out baseless child abuse incidents from their childhood. – I really think that she is afraid to find out that she was not a good parent and that she may actually had abused him.
Anyway, I had a blow up argument with his parents about meddling in my initiation to getting him into therapy (On this Christmas day). With almost getting fire from his job (yet again in his life), my husband decided to listen to me this time around and he is getting help.
However, I am absolutely exhausted and I just do not love him anymore. He became more of a child to me now than a life partner. He is already 6years younger than I am and with his emotional problems, I feel like his mother and not like his wife.
I want out of this marriage before I waste more of my life with this wrecking ball.
I need to gather up my strength to start a divorce process and to move out of this place.
Please give me any advice /wisdom that you can spare.
How can I break everything that I believe in about marriage and commitment? How do I walk out? How do I start over? How do I not feel like an absolute loser? How do I let my dreams of this relationship die? How do you do it?