Re: My wife is thinking about a separation
You're trying to nice her back into loving you. I wish that worked. She's just going to really take advantage of you, walk all over you, tell you it's just not working, she's just not in love with you anymore, and draw this out for months or even years possibly.
One day when she figures out a way for you to pay for her life, or someone else that will take on her problems and pay for her, she will be out the door.
Be honest with yourself. Is your wife actually working at your relationship? Is she trying as hard at this as you? I don't believe so. She's cut you off from sex and physical affection, you're still paying bills, you're talking about doing x,y,z, with the kids to give her free time, etc etc.
Do you think she's thinking about all these ways for her to increase your happiness? I doubt it.
She's going to get further and further away.
I don't know the solution. I do think filing papers and separating is just what she wants. She wants you to have the kids half the time, pay half the bills, and be free to find someone else.
In one fell swoop she will have reduced her responsibility by half for the kids, you will still be paying bills, and she's suddenly found her freedom to find someone she loves.
You've got to be realistic about what she is really wanting.
You're making excuse after excuse for her. You don't think other people have struggles with work and such? You don't think other people struggle with taking care of kids? She doesn't have a monopoly on parenting woes and job woes. You ALLOWING her to make this all your fault is not going to heal your relationship.
Of course, I don't think filing for divorce will help shock her, either.
I think you just need to try your plan for a while and put a tineline on it. Don't do this for the rest of your life. Your feelings and your needs count also.
I hope it works out for you.