36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del) - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 10:42 PM Thread Starter
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36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

Evening peeps....

Where/How do you even start...been lurking finally signed up....posted some...last few years been tough...

Cliff notes...I guess newest to oldest is fine for now....

tonight....we spoke about 6-8 weeks ago...decided we want to stay together..."and walk in to sunset together no divorce......went out to eat...not a comfortable situation told her I would 'buy" our lasts meal together...

6-8 weeks ago copied and printed from here some postings about married but just roommates for now...couple of days later we "talked about it... short version ..I wasn't going to proceed as roommates...

I pushed it tonight...I was pissed not at the w but in general maybe some at her...

more cliff notes...
had to take a buyout in 2013 been with co 30+ years....excellent package no choice to take it... took my first summer off in 30+ years.crawled into the bottle...but still was able to function...basically went to the lake every day...normally ****ed up after I did my walk and worked out...wife working PT and my package is paying the bills plus cobra medical...

we became empty nesters and thoroughly enjoyed it... ....like gets in the way both adult children (34 and 26) move back home)..I had not issue except this time I wanted to treat the as tenants to avoid as BS since they were adults... (no issue as of today 4/1/17 paying rents etc. on time as needed..

Wife 55 me 58 ...don't think anything is going on but this forum has opened my mind after being married a long time...I think this ones on me...I haven't found anything on her phone or email and I asked again flat out tonight...says no...I have no reason not to believe her...

more: had to move my elderly mother in with us in Jan .2017..sdhe's still her tonight...shes on WC after falling and breaking her hip in 7/2015...after caring her for 6 months in rehab let her move home until she wasn't able to live by herself any longer..

Wife put up with a ton of **** prior to my company closing down and relo (need to be careful here)...she packed up the house in order to moved but "package" was offered in lieu.. neither one of us was happy with that..company moved is back and payed all the expenses...

Anyways...after my drunk fog cleared I felt something is right or maybe this isn't the way I want to live anyone...I've paid all expense up until 2017...2 collages...cars vac. etc.. (issue)...Since my mom got hurt I've been the one to run to the hospital...arrange surgeries etc...wife has a decent relationship ship with her but certainly not easy for the wife..


Any way I've ranted on...looks like I'm done and have to babysit on top on top of it...

I've been sober for 16 months until tonight....but I feel that I can go back to my contacts and meetings and be OK...for what ever that is......finally selling marriage is done after 36 years and opening a bottle after a long tuff time...is will IDK how to describe it..

Spell check sucks and for all you " " others on this site.. I have no intention of hurting myself...just sucks I have to sell off my toys 79 z...bikes...etc...Really sucks I have to sleep on the couch tonight....wife in our bedroom and I will give her respect for the week end...both about children in their "leased" rooms...mom in my office with a pull out...and I guess either I'm on the couch or sleep on the weight lifting bench..,

I just tried to proof read this and wasn't able to...I asked the mods to delate this in the near future if I want do right know I need something...I'm ok being alone but it pisses me off...


Last edited by ZedZ; 03-31-2017 at 10:48 PM. Reason: Spell check...
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 11:14 PM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

Get some sleep, clear your head... talk in the morning.

We'll be here.

नमस्ते 🙏
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 11:33 PM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

i too took a buyout from one of the big automakers.

Tried to retire. Cannot sit still for a minute. I worked another 15 years at various companies. Being a technical person, and friendly I had no problem job hopping. Lucky me.

You do end up doing contract work when you go this route though! It was never for the money...always for the challenge. I fear no learning curve. I get along with white and blue collar types.

Have you considered getting another job? Beats drinking yourself into a stupor.

Leave your good wife alone. Do not heap crap on her.

You are like room mates? How come?

Start chasing her around the dining room table again. Start romancing her again.

Old women are great in bed once you get them wound up.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 09:30 AM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

Sorry, I'm not following why this is ending....

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.


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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 09:33 AM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3Xnocharm View Post
Sorry, I'm not following why this is ending....
Wait until he sobers up and tries again...
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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 09:36 AM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

Sorry.

Sober up and post again please!

LOL! Been there brother!
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 09:39 AM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

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Originally Posted by 3Xnocharm View Post
Sorry, I'm not following why this is ending....
...because he's taking responsibility for everyone else but himself?

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.


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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 09:44 AM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

@ZedZ,

Get to a meeting this morning. No judgment. Everyone falls.

This is something you deserve for yourself.

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.


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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 10:07 AM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

You can't delete your threads and a moderator won't do it either.
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 01:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

Greetings....
No change today so far....just keeping my distance...elderly mother is busting my balls....

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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 01:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

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Sorry, I'm not following why this is ending....

Seemed to grow apart to room mate status...I'm not willing to accept just being roommates...
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 01:58 PM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

So what are you going to do about it?

End it or eliminate the distractions and give it more attention?

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.


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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 01:58 PM
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36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

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You can't delete your threads and a moderator won't do it either.


Yes they do. You have been here long enough to know that.
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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:00 PM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

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Seemed to grow apart to room mate status...I'm not willing to accept just being roommates...


Do you understand your role in making that happen or it is all your wife's fault?
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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 02:55 PM
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Re: 36.5 years...M may be over (mods may way want to del)

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Yes they do. You have been here long enough to know that.
And you say this because................................
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