Dead end cul-de-sac - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 11:24 AM
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Re: Dead end cul-de-sac

Sadly, the roommate situation is quite common in marriages after so many years. But it can be turned around- it just takes work on BOTH sides and a plan that works.

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post #47 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 11:37 AM
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Re: Dead end cul-de-sac

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Originally Posted by jb02157 View Post
I tried to explain that I'm not afraid of divorce but my posts were deleted. What I have posted was based on facts from divorce lawyers. I didn't make any of it up. Sorry.
Ok let me rephrase. You are not afraid of divorce.

You have an expectation that getting divorced will destroy you financially.

I don't know your specific financials but I can tell you that generally speaking, the outcome of divorce is a gray area with extremes, and you are picturing the absolute worst case scenario and supplementing that picture you've created in your mind with many questionable and just plain wrong "facts" that you say you got from years of research and thousands of dollars worth of attorney consultations.

What's worse is that you continue to spread such nonsense all over these boards which will be read by many individuals considering divorce.

I've already pointed out several blatent errors- social security benefits received by the ex spouse do not in ANY way affect the benefits received by the primary account holder and health insurance is rarely if ever required to be paid by the breadwinning spouse after a divorce is final. Those are just 2 examples of many "facts" you have posted that are just plain WRONG along with your statement that "the woman usually gets 70% of everything even though it's supposed to be a 50/50 split".

Last edited by stixx; 04-05-2017 at 11:46 AM.
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post #48 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 11:40 AM
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Re: Dead end cul-de-sac

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Originally Posted by Jessica38 View Post
Sadly, the roommate situation is quite common in marriages after so many years. But it can be turned around- it just takes work on BOTH sides and a plan that works.

Quoted for truth! It can be turned around.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #49 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 12:17 PM
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Re: Dead end cul-de-sac

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Originally Posted by stixx View Post
Ok let me rephrase. You are not afraid of divorce.

You have an expectation that getting divorced will destroy you financially.

I don't know your specific financials but I can tell you that generally speaking, the outcome of divorce is a gray area with extremes, and you are picturing the absolute worst case scenario and supplementing that picture you've created in your mind with many questionable and just plain wrong "facts" that you say you got from years of research and thousands of dollars worth of attorney consultations.

What's worse is that you continue to spread such nonsense all over these boards which will be read by many individuals considering divorce.

I've already pointed out several blatent errors- social security benefits received by the ex spouse do not in ANY way affect the benefits received by the primary account holder and health insurance is rarely if ever required to be paid by the breadwinning spouse after a divorce is final. Those are just 2 examples of many "facts" you have posted that are just plain WRONG along with your statement that "the woman usually gets 70% of everything even though it's supposed to be a 50/50 split".
What ev's. I'm done posting about this and fighting with you. What you said is plain wrong. I'll have my lawyers back me up on whatever I said. I think what is really tragic is that the people reading these boards will have completely wrong information if they read your posts.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #50 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 12:46 PM
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Re: Dead end cul-de-sac

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What ev's. I'm done posting about this and fighting with you. What you said is plain wrong. I'll have my lawyers back me up on whatever I said. I think what is really tragic is that the people reading these boards will have completely wrong information if they read your posts.
You said that there are additional costs in divorce that make it more of a 70/30 split and one of those costs is social security benefits.

You are wrong, and here's a definitive source:

From the Federal Social Security website

https://www.ssa.gov/planners/retire/divspouse.html

Note: The amount of benefits you get has no effect on the amount of benefits your ex-spouse or their current spouse may receive.

As to the second issue, you are again, wrong and here's a definitive source.

From here:

http://dadsdivorce.com/articles/cove...after-divorce/

However, maintaining health insurance after a Judgment of Divorce is filed does not always require a party to maintain health insurance on another party.

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Originally Posted by jb02157 View Post
I've been researching this for years and have paid thousands to lawyers and I know what I'm talking about, trust me if there was a way I could leave my marriage and afford an apartment I would have already done it years ago.
@jb02157 You've spent THOUSANDS of dollars on divorce attorneys and you haven't even filed for divorce?

Last edited by stixx; 04-05-2017 at 01:07 PM.
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post #51 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 01:15 PM
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Re: Dead end cul-de-sac

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Sadly, the roommate situation is quite common in marriages after so many years. But it can be turned around- it just takes work on BOTH sides and a plan that works.
Yes, problem being it appears only ONE person has been making the effort in this case. And now they feel done.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.


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post #52 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 01:21 PM
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Re: Dead end cul-de-sac

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Yes, problem being it appears only ONE person has been making the effort in this case. And now they feel done.
If that's the case, then it is the OP's choice to move on and file, obviously. But he posted here and my point is that there are couples in the same situation who were able to turn it around. There are successful plans out there that do not include thousands of hours and $$$ in MC rehashing the same stuff. I actually didn't know that myself until learning more about a year ago. Marriage Builders is a program that actually has turned this situation around for many couples. There are others for sure, but that one offers a plan that has successfully worked. If the OP doesn't want to try it, I get it. But he's worried about his kids, and in that case, it seems reason enough to try a plan.
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post #53 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-05-2017, 01:28 PM
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Re: Dead end cul-de-sac

when your done your done. and no amount of effort can turn it around.

I say get the ball rolling. and file already. and be happy to be rid of her.
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