01-03-2012, 12:34 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | Should I separate? So lost and need some objective advice!
I have been married for 12 years and have two children, 9 and 6. I have always had a very up and down relationship with my husband. There was always passion but also intense fighting and financial issues. We have lost our home and continue to have financial struggles. We both work and are trying to clean up the mess of the past which was due to son's health issues, overspending, etc.. I have always been designated to be in charge of finances and also am the one who makes all the emotional effort in the relationship. My husband takes no ownership of his issues or actions and instead, blames me for his lot in life. He has a lot of anger, some is understandable, but at this point, he will say, he has no room for the relationship. He has threatened divorce several times, but when calm, will say he wants to improve the marriage. We have been to therapy in the past; he refuses to go now. He refuses to speak about a plan to improve things. I feel stuck.
In the past, I would beg him to work it out with me. If he tried to leave, I would beg him to stay. I am different now. I no longer will do that. Recently, I asked if we should separate or cohabitate for now. He laughed me off. I am dead inside, lonely and recently have felt drawn to a friend of mine. This has never happened to me in 12 years. I feel the relationship is dead, but I am fearful of change and how it will impact the kids. He is a good father, but disrespectful to me in front of them.
Any supportive suggestions are welcome!