In situations like this, pressuring her to work it out is like pushing a rope.
Let her know you are done, cancel MC, and file.
When she complains about anything after that point, hold your hand up and say:
"Wife, discussions about our relationship are for people who are committed to making their marriage work. Your actions post-affair showed your level of commitment, therefore there is no point in having such discussions."
The therapist was pretty strong on me giving her space and time. Now the past 2 weeks he says it's time for her to start bridging the gap. Her homework the past 2 weeks has been to slowly give me affection and attention and allow talks and discussions. There has been virtually none (except a little last Friday when she had her sisters over and got a little drunk).
I'm so not ready to file, that's why I'm asking how do you know.
I know I started this (I cheated and moved out first, I didn't move out with the intention of cheating, but it happened). I have tried to reconcile, profusely apologized, I have changed many things, pitched in harder, worked all day, came home and cleaned the house, done many favors and extras for her, written her sweet notes, etc. Nothing works. The past week or so I have tried the '180' way and just been bare minimum, and that just seems to be pushing us further away.
It's like she expects me to keep up this super effort, while she does nothing. It's starting to feel like I am simply a slave. I just can't imagine breaking up my family. We have been married 10 years, have a 9 year, grew up together since we were 11. It's all very heart breaking to me. She completely blames me for her affair and says it was the 'nail in the coffin' of our marriage for her. But has since changed her mind and decided to 'try' to make it work. But this sure doesn't feel like trying.
So lost. GA has laws about alimony and infidelity, if I stay too long it could be considered condonement as well, so there is financial concerns involved. I know maybe I shouldn't think about that, but I have to have some semblance of self preservation as well.
I had some hope, but yesterday in our session whens he said she has lost all attraction for me, that was really a dagger to my heart. The counselor requested a solo session with her next week to work on her anger and 'icing' me out. Do I want and see if that has positive impact? Or say screw it and move on. I am a very successful person, and I don't think I'm half bad looking. It's not like I couldn't move on. But I just love her so damn much and made a terrible mistake.