Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Re: everything is all my fault of course
From your post it seems that you two should not be married. Marriage should not be hard and your weeks filled with visits to a MC or infidelity worries. I read some of the posts here and ask myself, why do they even ask about their marriage when it sounds like a train wreck already. There is a saying, it is time to cut bait and run. You are entitled to a happy life and no way are you going to get that in your marriage. Counselling is often a stepping stone to avoid the harsh truth that you two should divorce. You think that maybe if you change or he changes, life will be great. Adults do not change their basic nature and people who cheat tend to keep on cheating. I know that from my own experience and that of others I have known. It really sounds like your marriage is a coffin and you are just putting the nails in one at a time and very slowly at that. Sorry but your marriage is unlike any I know of with my friends, even the ones who divorced. Way too much effort is required and you are getting nowhere.
Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality when the choice is monogamy or your marriage.