Sounds like he's having a mid life crisis. He's looking back at his life, not happy with it, and wondering if this is going to be his life for the next 40+ years.
You two should be spending 15hrs minimal a week alone together. Two date nights a month? Seems to me you two are disconnected, just going through each day trying to get to the next day.
How often are you two intimate? Is this a sexless marriage?
I appreciate your advice. You're absolutely right - we were just trying to get through each day. When you have a sick child, sometimes that's all you can do.
Yes - only 2 date nights a month. That's all we can afford. We have no family in the state and sitters cost $15-$20 an hour. Money is tight. Last year, we paid over $17,000 in medical bills. Keep in mind, I also had to schedule around days where I felt comfortable leaving my sick son with a sitter.
I tried to talk my husband into having extra date nights at home - romantic dinners, movies, snuggling, etc. But he threw himself into work - leaving at 8am and coming home after 8pm. I would ask him to come home earlier so we could connect, but there was always an excuse. By the time he got home, I was exhausted from caring for my son.
It wasn't a sexless marriage. We were intimate 2-3 times a month after our son got sick. He travels 1-2 weeks a month for work and I was mentally and physically exhausted, so 2-3 times was a lot for us.