Hello All
My first post. Have been a lurker for a while - what an amazing board this is.
Straight to the point then.
I have been married for 16 years to a woman I never should have married.
The truth is - I allowed myself to become enmeshed in someone's life and committed the ultimate act of emotional self destruction by getting into a reltionship with her and then marrying. I kept telling myself at the time I would bring it to a conclusion - but at each new phases I found myself lacking in courage. I have had counselling as a single person and my therapist warned me then - you have a problem with endings! Ha - dont I know it! I alway had managed to extricate myself from unhappy relationships by hook or by crook, good fortune or whatever - they all went on too long - and I was always going to be a hazard to myself under the worst circumstances. And I happened - by freak chance I found myself with a woman who was playing for keeps - and I was not in her league as a player - she whipped my ass.
I can't believe I let all this happen. If someone had painted this picture for me 20 years ago - I would have been horrified. Yet this is reality.
What has happened to me these last 16 years is just beyond belief. I feel like time has frozen - the world has been turning, and I've been stuck in the same place. The year is 2000 - but no - it really is 2017 - what has been happening all this time.
What a monumental mess I am in.
I'm in my early 50s by the way. So this all started when I was 37 - thinking at that time I was now ripe for the right woman.
Ha ha ha! What a laugh that is! Pissing myself laughing here! Really.
But I cant believe there are not people out there who have been through similar and come out of the long dark tunnel.
Please bear with me - I dont often have more than 10 minutes to myself without interruption. I will be back with more of this dreadful tale. In the meantime any comments would be much appreciated.
My first post. Have been a lurker for a while - what an amazing board this is.
Straight to the point then.
I have been married for 16 years to a woman I never should have married.
The truth is - I allowed myself to become enmeshed in someone's life and committed the ultimate act of emotional self destruction by getting into a reltionship with her and then marrying. I kept telling myself at the time I would bring it to a conclusion - but at each new phases I found myself lacking in courage. I have had counselling as a single person and my therapist warned me then - you have a problem with endings! Ha - dont I know it! I alway had managed to extricate myself from unhappy relationships by hook or by crook, good fortune or whatever - they all went on too long - and I was always going to be a hazard to myself under the worst circumstances. And I happened - by freak chance I found myself with a woman who was playing for keeps - and I was not in her league as a player - she whipped my ass.
I can't believe I let all this happen. If someone had painted this picture for me 20 years ago - I would have been horrified. Yet this is reality.
What has happened to me these last 16 years is just beyond belief. I feel like time has frozen - the world has been turning, and I've been stuck in the same place. The year is 2000 - but no - it really is 2017 - what has been happening all this time.
What a monumental mess I am in.
I'm in my early 50s by the way. So this all started when I was 37 - thinking at that time I was now ripe for the right woman.
Ha ha ha! What a laugh that is! Pissing myself laughing here! Really.
But I cant believe there are not people out there who have been through similar and come out of the long dark tunnel.
Please bear with me - I dont often have more than 10 minutes to myself without interruption. I will be back with more of this dreadful tale. In the meantime any comments would be much appreciated.