I feel like counseling together and individually, would help you both, rather than separating. She might have chosen to suggest separating because she doesn't know how to bridge the gap between you both.
Thanks for responding.
In her email, she said that we use this time to address our individual "traumas".
For her, I mentioned in my original post that she's been nose-diving. Downward spiral in terms of losing people who she considered her friends and losing her favourite past time. That's a long story that I want to share when I have more time.
For me, I told her that her constant berating is my trauma. Her constant need to be angry and to hold on to anger. I feel no confidence in her presence.
We've tried counselling in the past. Considering we're where we are now, it's hard to say whether or not it worked. Maybe we just didn't follow-through on the things that we were counselled to do. I'd be willing to try again.
She's been binge-reading self-help books. I haven't been keeping up with all of them, but we don't talk about them either. I just see them laying around. The current one seems to be instructing her to write a daily journal.
I don't think that she'll suggest me (or her) moving out. Probably just avoiding each other, except where it has to do with the kids, and sleeping separately.
One of her "friends" (more of an acquaintance) recently went through this. I was actually surprised (again, looking at their relationship from the outside). They did an in-house separation. They co-parented, but he slept in another room, so I'm sure she'll want to follow that model. I haven't checked in to see what their status is now, but I'm pretty sure they're divorcing.