First heal yourself. Cheating has many effects on people.
IX) So what does this do to the person cheated on?
Cheating can devastate a person emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and even physically.
Communication ~ A cheater will use lack a communication to hide the deed or avoid talking about it. But communication is the one thing that can hold a relationship together the best and even repair it.
Unfair advantage ~ A cheater often uses an affair as a way of getting an unfair advantage over someone. It is easy to withhold sex from your partner if you are getting it elsewhere. They become weaker mentally and you now control a source of power. After all Cheaters are usually for one's own interest, and often at the expense of others.
Lying ~ Most affairs are never known. This is in large part because of lying. Not just one Lie but over and over again.
Trust ~ Trust is broken and often never rebuilt and for good reason. But where trust is such an important issue to many relationships this is a key to why many end.
Deceit ~ Like lying deceit is used to cover up the deed in hopes it will never be found out.
Self esteem ~ Once a person has been cheated on they may lose a great deal of self esteem. Where they not good enough? Is the other person better looking? More fit? Better health?
Vulnerable ~ Once you feel violated you worry that it can happen again.
Unattractive ~ Why else would someone stray?
Insecure ~ About who and what you are and stand for. Insecure about relationships and trust in another.
Unworthy ~ Feelings of being unworthy of love or happiness. Cheating Thesis
So ask that before you recommit to him that he pays for you to get councilling. Second he should get council too.
Cheating often leads to the ability to control anothers emotions.
Second thing to do is lay down the rules to him if he does come back it is on YOUR terms. Let him know in no way will you let him ever hurt you like that again.