Re: Considering divorce
Please keep in mind that for a guy who's basically keeping everything together on his own and then losing a job for whatever reason puts a man in a terrible situation that he can't resolve for himself. He has to use what ever money is saved to take care of immediate responsibilities, find another job and keep himself together all at the same time, all of which he can't do by himself. Not a pleasant experience (I've gone through it more than my fair share of times). Sometimes guys just shut down and say the hell with it and quit and some feel they have to reach down deeper and push through it.
To keep your H from being the former, wives have to realize they must support their husband as much as possible so they will want to push through it and find another job. If you keep on jabbing at him with divorce, it just gives him more of a reason to shut down, say the hell with it and drink. Why should he bother going back to work if he feels he's not supported by you and you only want to get rid of him??
My wife did this, all I ever heard from her during the times I was layed off is how much of a loser I was (when the reason I was layed off had nothing to do with me) and that she wanted a divorce because I wasn't paying the bills. Every day I wanted to shut down and say the hell it and moreso the hell with HER. I pushed through, eventually got another job and then was able to full pay for everything, but did not and will not forget that experience. It's one of the things that has made our marriage the mess it is.
I do understand where you're coming from, he should do more, quit drinking and try to get another job, but I think that if you supported him doing that he would want to do it faster.
"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"