I've been married for almost 21 years to a man I love with all my heart and soul. His parents both passed away 3 years ago, within 1 month of each other. He moved to their house to take care of them before their passing. It was a very traumatic experience. He inherited his childhood home and that's where we live now.
I know he has been in a funk lately and not as affectionate as he used to be. When I tried to talk to him, he said he just needed to be alone. He goes camping by himself, to get away from everything. That he doesnt want to be around anyone.
Last week I asked him if he still wanted to be married to me. He said he didn't know anymore. He said it feels like we are just co existing. We don't have sex very often. I have a low sex drive and on antidepressant meds for anxiety. He told me on Thursday of last week that he wasnt happy and hadnt been for a year. and he wasn't sure what he wanted. His friend asked him if he could stand not seeing me everyday for the next 20 years. When he left to go camping, I knew he had made the decision that he was done.He called me on Friday and asked me if I'd come there with , him. I said yes. He came to get me and took me in his arms and said he had forgotten his wife. That he couldn't not see me for the next 20 years. We talked about the lack of sex, about how I've pulled away. (The more distant he got, the more I tried to give him space), my lack of follow through with my diet, etc. Now, he says he came back for me because of that question and because I was hurting. Never because he can't be without me. We have never fought, never gotten into heated arguments. We've always been good together and for each other, until now. He says he loves me, but he's not in love with me. He says he's thought about cheating, but hasn't. He's trying to act almost normal, but I feel like he's pretending. He still spoons with me at night, but he doesn't put his arm around me. I'm so distraught and heartbroken. I don't know how to do this. I don't want to lose him.
Please help
I know he has been in a funk lately and not as affectionate as he used to be. When I tried to talk to him, he said he just needed to be alone. He goes camping by himself, to get away from everything. That he doesnt want to be around anyone.
Last week I asked him if he still wanted to be married to me. He said he didn't know anymore. He said it feels like we are just co existing. We don't have sex very often. I have a low sex drive and on antidepressant meds for anxiety. He told me on Thursday of last week that he wasnt happy and hadnt been for a year. and he wasn't sure what he wanted. His friend asked him if he could stand not seeing me everyday for the next 20 years. When he left to go camping, I knew he had made the decision that he was done.He called me on Friday and asked me if I'd come there with , him. I said yes. He came to get me and took me in his arms and said he had forgotten his wife. That he couldn't not see me for the next 20 years. We talked about the lack of sex, about how I've pulled away. (The more distant he got, the more I tried to give him space), my lack of follow through with my diet, etc. Now, he says he came back for me because of that question and because I was hurting. Never because he can't be without me. We have never fought, never gotten into heated arguments. We've always been good together and for each other, until now. He says he loves me, but he's not in love with me. He says he's thought about cheating, but hasn't. He's trying to act almost normal, but I feel like he's pretending. He still spoons with me at night, but he doesn't put his arm around me. I'm so distraught and heartbroken. I don't know how to do this. I don't want to lose him.
Please help