HerToo

Probably a stupid question, but I need to ask because I ask questions about everything in the world.

If a couple initiates a trial separation, do the husband and wife still wear their wedding rings?

that_girl

We did.

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HerToo

Thank you for the prompt reply!

What factors were included in that decision? Did you have rules? If so, what were they?

I know....I ask too many questions!

that_girl

Rules about the rings? no.

We just wore them. We were still married.

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HerToo

D'oh!

Sorry. I meant to ask about separation rules.

that_girl

Yea. We did and we followed them kinda. lol. It was just nice to set up boundaries before separating.

We'd talk once a week about us. Every other encounter wouldn't involve deep conversations. (this ended up to us talking about 2 times a month...which was good enough).

We wouldn't hang out right away. (Yea, whatever. After 4 days without talking, we hung out at least 5 days a week throughout the separation )

Divorce was not an option (he never brought it up, and I never even thought about it).

No computer/phones while spending time together.

There were other rules...but they vanished quickly as we really just took it one day at a time. That seemed to work best. That, and not pushing. We did drink a LOT of wine though. LOL I kinda look back at our separation with some fondness. We'd stay up til 3am talking...drinking wine...laughing. just like when we were dating. It wasn't always good though, but throughout our separation, we learned each others boundaries and needs.

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calif_hope

No seeing others! Fidelity!
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HerToo

Sounds like good rules. Especially the drinking rule!

It would have to be not seeing others unless the agreement is to separate in preparation for divorce.

Hope1964

I did not wear my wedding rings when we lived apart. I don't know if he did or not. Once we decided to move back together we both wore them. Then on D day#2 I took mine off and threw them at him along with a few choice words and told him I didn't want to see them again till he had his sh!t together. He gave them back 3 months later, along with a bit of pomp and ceremony

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HerToo

Thanks for sharing Hope.

daisygirl 41

Hi HerToo. The only steadfast agreement that H and I have is fidelity. Neither of us is to date as this would be adultery as we are still married. If either of us feels that way inclined then it's done. It's over.
We both still wear our wedding rings and we are respectful and understanding of each others needs.
It's going well. I almost feel we are best friends again. Little different for us as we have 3 children we still see each other every day but with him sleeping away from home I really feel some of the pressure has been lifted and we are spending time together because we want to and not because we have to.

Do you have separation on your mind HerToo? I'm sorry to hear that and wish you and your wife all the best .
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2nd_t!me iz_best

through all (cant even count how many) separations i took mine off and believe she did too.

no sense in having boundaries on seeing others, as that was the reason for several separations, although i never did.

the last separation i took my ring off about 2 weeks before i finally left.

HerToo

It's only on my mind in possibly being something that we discuss on our own, or if it's recommended by the MC. Just me doing my analyzing stuff again. It might never be discussed.

HerToo

By the way Daisy, I updated how MC went on the CWI forum.

pidge70

I guess my question is, why wouldn't you wear your ring?
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