My husband is an Indian settled there. He says that once I go back he will file for my settlement, but i am not sure.
Can he file for your settlement BEFORE you return to the UK? His doing this would prove his sincerity. Perhaps you can ask for that.
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Originally Posted by AmandaC
Yes, I am well educated, that's why I used to work in UK too, and give him all the money.
I figured that you were well educated as your English is very good. This gives you a lot more options as I am sure you are aware.
Have you talked with him about your income? That you will keep some of your income for yourself to build a savings and to get the things you need and what. That since he took all of your money before you do not trust giving it all to him. And also that since you will be living in the UK, where I believe you would have the rights to 50% of all community income, property and debt that you have to be involved in the finances. You are as legally responsible to pay the bills as he is, so you need to be involved. Neither of you should make any debt without the other’s consent.
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Originally Posted by AmandaC
I am working here too in a good firm, and am earning a decent salary. I have also booked a home all by myself in India, of my own, but now he says that because he scared that if i leave him again, he wants me to sell my house in India, as he is scared that I might come back here again.
When I ask him why... he says that he is scared that i will leave him again.
But, I have clearly told him that under no circumstances am i going to sell that house.
He finally agreed to that too....
Good for you!! That house is your security. You should always keep it if you can afford to.
Whatever you do, do not go back to him simply because of social pressure. You have your own home now. It would seem that with so many well educated and well employed women in India that there would be a descent sized population of women who are more independent. Is this true?
I am sorry that i would have to log out for a while as i am at work, i will comeback online soon and am desperately waiting to talk more and get your advice. Thank you so much!
Amanda,
It is 11 PM here in New Mexico. So I have to go to bed now. I'll check back on your thread in the morning before I leave for work. I cannot use the internet for posting when I'm at work. Of course I just got a new android phone so maybe I'll try that while at work.
But I will definately be back online after work tomorrow evening.
I can perhaps try talking to him getting me settled there, before I go. Yes, India has changed considerably from before. There are many single independent women in here.
I will not go due to social pressure. I told my parents too today that I will only go if its comfortable for me.
I understand that you have your work life. I really appreciate you helping everyone here. Its such a noble work to do. I am so grateful, that I got someone I could share my pain with and also get proper advice.
Thank you so much Elegirl, and I will keep you posted about what happends next.
P.S. Android phones are cool and reliable, my friend has those, do you like playing games on them? I surely do...
The answer is in your heart. Follow it or you will be miserable. You only have one life and it is short so be happy.
I know a man that did the opposite and has been married for about 55 years. If you ask him how long he has been married he will say 55 miserable years. .....yeah he really said that.
It's morning here. I got up late so now I'm rushing to get to work. It's good to hear that you have told your mother that you will not go back based on social pressure. You have so much going for you, so many options. Do what is truely best for you.
The answer is in your heart. Follow it or you will be miserable. You only have one life and it is short so be happy.
I know a man that did the opposite and has been married for about 55 years. If you ask him how long he has been married he will say 55 miserable years. .....yeah he really said that.
Don't be that person!
Thank you! I am just gathering up the courage to do what I want!
It's morning here. I got up late so now I'm rushing to get to work. It's good to hear that you have told your mother that you will not go back based on social pressure. You have so much going for you, so many options. Do what is truely best for you.
Do keep me posted.
I understand. I will try my best to do what is good for me and also keep praying to god. I am sure, he will do the bestc But, I will take care of myself to....
Hope you are well. My husband is constantly trying to keep in touch now and be good.
However, i am still not sure. He wants to start a family as soon as i go there. He wants 2 kids. I am so scared bcoz I am still not sure about him, how will I handle 2 kids. Is it that I have started liking my freedom here or is it because I am genuinely not sure about him? I am just wandering....
Hope you are well. My husband is constantly trying to keep in touch now and be good.
However, i am still not sure. He wants to start a family as soon as i go there. He wants 2 kids. I am so scared bcoz I am still not sure about him, how will I handle 2 kids. Is it that I have started liking my freedom here or is it because I am genuinely not sure about him? I am just wandering....
Hello All,
I seek help from anyone who reads my posts. I am so confused and this state of limbo is killing me. Thank you!
Hope you are well. My husband is constantly trying to keep in touch now and be good.
However, i am still not sure. He wants to start a family as soon as i go there. He wants 2 kids. I am so scared bcoz I am still not sure about him, how will I handle 2 kids. Is it that I have started liking my freedom here or is it because I am genuinely not sure about him? I am just wandering....
Hi Elegirl, Kindly do reply once you read this post. I couldnt sleep last night either.
Hope you are well. My husband is constantly trying to keep in touch now and be good.
However, i am still not sure. He wants to start a family as soon as i go there. He wants 2 kids. I am so scared bcoz I am still not sure about him, how will I handle 2 kids. Is it that I have started liking my freedom here or is it because I am genuinely not sure about him? I am just wandering....
If he wants to start a family right away, he clearly is not thinking about you are the health of your relationship. One of the things that traps women in a marriage are children. How easy would it be to leave him if you go back and find out that he has not really changed?
And how much is he going to help you with the children?
Would he expect you to quit your job and stay home if you had children?
He says that he wants me to quit the job and start a family with him. And even if agrees for me to work, i am still not sure what he will be doing there. I dont know what to tell him.
I did tell him the other day that 1 kid would be enough looking at our relationship. But he doesnt want one kid, he wants 2 kids.
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Re: Should I go back? Please help! 
Thank you!
