01-23-2012, 10:06 AM
Join Date: May 2011
| | Re: I think it's finally over
You can't help what you feel; it is what it is.
You CAN help what you do about it, and how it affects everyone around you... here's my thoughts:
- get yourself into IC, to deal with the guilt if nothing else.
- get yourself AND wife into MC, to address the realities. If nothing else, they can help you understand one another and prep for an amicable split. If there's any chance of repair to your current marriage, this would likely be the best shot, too. But either way, it gets you to the dialogue you so badly need to have...
- make yourself 2 plans. One, a plan of what you'd do if you somehow HAD to stay... what you'd change and how you'd go about it. Second, an exit plan. Then, review that plan for what type of adjustments you could make to ease the pain for 'them', to give the best possible outcome for them that is also acceptable to you...
- Set a deadline, say 3 months from now, when you will execute one of those plans. Buit stop thinking of either of them as the preferred plan while you give MC a real shot. Then, if you leave, you can look back knowing you really gave it that one last gaps effort, and not a half-a**ed try...